Things I’ve done in the last week and a half.

• Flew to Atlanta
• Went to a cemetery
• Flew to Dallas
• Went to a Brazilian restaurant and ate my weight in dead animal flesh
• Swore I’d never eat that much again
• Worked like the wage-whore I am for yet another ungrateful client
• Went back to Brazilian restaurant and ate even more than the first time
• Pondered the viability of purchasing personal home/travel defibrillator
• Got forklift/taxi to airport
• Flew home
• Bought a new scanner
• Attempted to install scanner, v1
• Cursed
• Attempted to install scanner, v2
• Cursed some more
• Attempted to install scanner, v3
• Cursed, had aneurism, fell to floor
• Foamed at the mouth as my new perspective allows me to see that scanner was not plugged into outlet
• Attempted to install scanner, v4 – problem solved
• Cursed self for being an idiot
• Read 5 books
1. The Art of Photoshop
2. Summer Knight
3. Bureau 13: Judgment Night
4. Something M.Y.T.H. Inc.
5. The Book of Athyra
• Digitized less than half my CD collection (28 GBs and growing)
• Saved the world from egomaniacal madman intent on ruling the world from his secret underground lair located on a small, skull-shaped island off the coast of Malaysia
• Wedding stuff
• Paid bills
• More wedding stuff
• Paid more bills
• Even more wedding stuff
• Paid even more bills
• Made a tourniquet out of $100 bills to stop the outward flow of money from my wallet
• Attempted suicide by repeatedly dropping giant-sized annual wedding spectacular issues of women’s magazines on my head – attempt failed miserably
• And now, finally, I have begun Blogging again

Let the rejoicing begin.

Woah. Keanu still can’t act.

I saw The Matrix last night and I’m actually vibrating with anticipation for the third installment. The movie started out a little weirdly but made sense soon enough, and then the movie took off like a rocket.

And I mean that literally.

I won’t give away any spoilers or even discuss my thoughts on the movie but I did want to give those of you who are planning on seeing it this weekend a little bit of advice. Pay attention to the Architect. Listen to every word because doing so just might help you comprehend the incomprehensible.

Anywaste, back to my pathetic life.

HoBiscuit is away for the next two weeks, because she’s attending a couple of weddings that I’m supposed to be at with her but cannot due to a very busy work schedule. She’s part of the bridal party of each wedding, so it’s really horrible of me to not go with her. I hope she understands that I’m staying behind so we can afford to pay for our wedding, but just in case she feels the urge to withhold sex upon her return, I’ve gone ahead and purchased her a gift. And since I was feeling so generous, I got one for myself too, of course.

What? I’m a Geek. So sue me.

Allergies still suck.

Only a few more hours left for you to submit your entry into the big contest. I’ve got a whole lot of great sentences already, but don’t let that scare you off. I can always find a way to add in another paragraph or three if I come across a really good sentence.

Amazingly, not one person has mentioned llamas yet. [hint, hint]

If you’ve sent in a sentence and either don’t have or forgot to include your website, then I’ve decided to not include your entry in the story. I’m sorry, but even though there were a whole lot of really great sentences sent in by people without websites, I had to par the list down somehow, and since this is supposed to be showing people a little linky-love… Awwww, come on. Don’t look at me like that. I still love you. Really, I do. Oh, give it up! Stop pouting already.

Honestly, it makes you look like a goldfish. And a sick one, at that.

Allergies suck. Just thought you should know.

For those of you who’ve been waiting patiently for me to get back to discussing my research into a new laptop for myself, let me bring you up to date. When I went to the airport this weekend on my way to another job in another state, I came across a display/kiosk by none other than Intel wherein there were a dozen or so actual laptops from various manufacturers equipped with the new Centrino chipset.

Talk about your great timing.

Like a kid in a candy store I began to quickly fondle and stroke myself the computers since I knew I would probably never find a Dell 600m next to a Gateway 450x again in my life. It was amazing that each and every computer I had on my list was in evidence at this demo and FREE for me to play with.

My nipples are getting hard just thinking about it again.

So, to make this long and sexually charged story a little shorter, I have narrowed my list down to the following computers;

• Acer Travelmate 800 series
• Dell 600m
• Gateway 450
• Sony Vaio Z1A

If you have any suggestions or comments on these computers, especially if you’ve actually handled them yourself, then please, please, PLEASE leave a comment or write me an email. If your favorite laptop manufacturer isn’t on this list then it probably means I’ve decided against buying it for some reason fathomable only to myself. Maybe that manufacturer doesn’t have a laptop with the Centrino chipset, maybe that computer was too heavy for frequent travel, maybe that manufacturer or that specific computer doesn’t have powerful enough graphics for my purposes.

Or, maybe having that laptop in my home would be bad Feng Shui.

Anywaste, there’s the computer laptop update, so now you’re all caught up on that part of my Geeky life. Isn’t that nice? I’m sure you’re all doing the happy dance in your chair to celebrate. Moving on to the big contest I mentioned on Friday, I’ve already received quite a few entries but I’m looking for even more. If you haven’t sent in your entry yet, what the heck are you waiting for? Remember to include your URL with your entry so I can send you all the linky-love you deserve.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, allergies can toss my frickin salad.

I think I just might hang myself with a USB cable.

I’m looking to buy myself a new notebook computer and being the UberGeek that I am, I feel compelled to do due diligence up the wazoo and research the Snausages out of all the currently available laptops before I make my purchase. So, after spending fleeting moments picking the mounds of silly putty that pass for brains amongst the tech departments of the major computer stores within thirty steps of my front door, and after spending minute after minute sifting through the Google search results for “awesomest most ‘leet laptop computer in the frickin world” and after spending the barest minimum amount of time compiling a list of suitable computer manufacturers from whom I would even consider buying from without demanding my sales reps first born as collateral, I think I’m almost ready to make my decision.

So far, I’ve narrowed down my choices to these select few manufacturers;

• Acer
• Alienware
• Dell
• Fujitsu
• Gateway
• IBM
• Sager
• Sony
• Toshiba
• Winbook

Well… perhaps ‘narrowed down’ is a little misleading.

At least I’ve managed to cross HP/Compaq off the list so far. Of course, they were never on the list to begin with since I hate their computers with a passion usually reserved for people who talk on their cell phones while breast feeding a their baby in a crowded movie theater.

Or Celine Dion. Whichever.

Anywaste, since I’m a lazy bastard and I actually believe that my visitors are a smart and tech savvy bunch of people, I’m looking for your help with making my decision. What? You’d be happy to offer your advice? Great! I knew you would be! Let me tell you a little more about what I’m looking for in my new laptop;

• 512 MB RAM
• 20GB or greater hard drive
• 14” or larger screen
• Minimum 1024x768x32bit resolution
• Minimum 32 MB DEDICATED video RAM
• ATI or nVidia graphics card
• CDRW/DVD combo drive or equivalent
• Built in 10/100Mbps LAN and 56K modem
• Preferably built in 802.11b wireless or optional add-in card at time of purchase
• At least 2 USB ports
• Preferably at least 1 Firewire port
• At least one year of on-site service and support
• Win XP Pro
• Under $2,100 including shipping and tax

See? It’s not like I’m asking for the impossible or anything, right?

You might have noticed a few things that are missing from that list, most noticeably there’s no processor mentioned. That’s because any of the newest processors would be more than enough for my needs. For arguments sake though, we could say that anything above a P4 2Ghz and an AMD 18000+ would be fine.

The new Intel Centrino’s would be even better. *drool*

Sound doesn’t matter to me; I like my VEHTS better anyway. I also don’t care about floppy drives or battery life. I can’t remember the last time I used a floppy drive and if I ever use the damn thing for more than 10 minutes unplugged I think I might fall down dead in shock. I might go into convulsions first and foam at the mouth, but trust me; I’d be on the ground and dead in less than a minute. Pushing up the daisy’s before you could even think of pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del.

So smart guy, what laptop computer would you suggest?