Geek Life

Crazy Thought of the Day #328,502,153,415

• by GeekMan • In Labracollie, Quickie •   1

Just a random thought.

Do dogs think elevators are magic transporters? I mean, from their perspective you walk into a tiny, metal room and a few moments later you leave that room and you’re miraculously somewhere else! They have no real concept of mechanisms, machinery or vertical movement brought about by pressing a button. I imagine if we could see their thought bubbles they’d go a little something like this;

“Holy crap, it’s the magic room! I don’t wanna die!”
“Please, don’t let us get vaporized this time Master, I just need to go potty!”
“Master doesn’t look scared, maybe there’s nothing to worry…”
“OMG! We’re stopping! But it’s too soon! What’s going on?!”
“Who are these people? Where are we? Should I get out? Should I stay?”
“Maybe I’ll just cower in the corner and quietly pee on myself…”

Dogs are so awesome.

Writing Right

• by GeekMan • In Geek Life •   3

So, now that I’m back I’ve got to… you know, write.

Unfortunately, with everything that’s been going on in my life during the last half of 2008, I just don’t know how to write it all down properly. However, in the spirit of making sure I actually do write more often, I’m just going to start and then stop when I feel I’ve said all I needed to say, whether or not it all comes out the way I wanted it to once it’s up here for all to see.

Step one; Write it.

I’ve worked like a madman for the last half of 2008, even in the midst of this horrible economy, and did a whole lot of travel. Which is great for me financially, but absolutely devastating to my social and family life. I barely got to see my loved ones and didn’t see any of my friends at all until the middle of November. Of course, it wasn’t due to Thanksgiving that I saw my friends, no. The only reason I saw them was because my stepfather died and they all came to pay their respects and support me and my family during our time of need.

Wow, what a downer that was.

In happier news, you probably already know we got a puppy, but what you don’t know is that the lovely HoBiscuit is once again pregnant. Yeah, you read that right, she’s got another bun in the oven. And let me tell you, we couldn’t be happier. The Mighty Baby and the Awesome Dog will have a little brother or sister sometime this June and both HoBiscuit and I are thrilled even as we dread the coming lack of sleep for us, hair-trigger temper tantrums and unavoidable jealousy from The Mighty Baby and The Awesome Dog.

So, a little good news / bad news for you.

I think that’s all for today. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sit down with my beautiful wife and watch some silly movie on our home theater while our child and dog are asleep. We don’t have very many quiet nights left to us that we can let this one get away. And of course, as I wrote that last line, The Mighty Baby woke up and started to cry.

Life truly, truly hates me.

The Magnet

• by GeekMan • In Geek Life, Labracollie •   2

Talk about coming out of the woodwork.

I never really noticed it before, but people with dogs tend to meet new and exciting people every time they take their dog out for a walk. Especially when the dog in question is a puppy. Especiallier when it’s a man walking a cute puppy. I swear, if I had realized just what a girl-magnet a cute puppy was I would have gotten a new puppy every six months when I was in college. I can’t seem to walk five feet without being accosted by some good-looking young lady or three cooing and ooo-ing over Trixie and asking me if they can pet her. Then they ask her name. Then MY name. And if I were a single man I bet I could get at LEAST two dates a DAY just by walking my dog. It’s fricking amazing.

Seriously, where the heck were all these cuties when I was single?!

Pooped Pup Poopey

• by GeekMan • In Labracollie •   2

Trixie is making me tired.

It’s 12:30am Wednesday morning and I can’t go to bed because Super-Pup is too busy playing to get into her cate and go to sleep. Which means I can’t go to sleep. Which means I’m awake to write this post informing all of you that I’m awake.

Awake, and grouchy.

I’m so tired I can’t even begin to explain it all except in vague, unhelpful terms. Terms like bone weary, utterly exhausted and zombie-like state all fail to adequately describe to you, dear minion(s), how empty my tank is. If I could, I’d go back in time four days and slap myself silly for even considering adopting a puppy when there was so many other things going on in my life that I was already unable to get more than four hours of sleep a night. Of course, after beating myself up I’d STILL demand that I get the puppy because she’s soooo worth it, but still. If she were any more of a pain in the… Awwww, she just gave me the tilted head, puppy eyed look!

[icy heart melting]

Oh well, at least we’ve already made some progress on the housetraining front. Today she peed and pooped outside three times… on purpose! Of course she peed and pooped INside six times, but I still consider today a big win. Especially when you consider she’s only 3 months old and is scared poopless (literally) of walking down the street. In fact, once she’s house trained I think she’ll be a champion bladder controller, because she took a two hour nap, ate a full meal AND I walked her for 45 minutes but she still managed to hold it in until 30 seconds after walking in the front door.

And people wonder why I named her “Tricksy.”

Who Let The Dogs Out?

• by GeekMan • In Announcements, Family, Geek Life •   0

I must be a masochist.

I say that because even though I have a 1 year old little girl, a job that requires frequent and extended travel away from home, a portfolio that has been soundly trashed by the crashing markets AND a loving wife who has never in her life had a pet of any kind, we decided to adopt a dog. And not just any dog, no. THAT would be far too easy. So of course we had to adopt the cutest dog we could find at the shelter that just happened to be a mix of Labrador Retriever and Border Collie, which shall henceforth be known as a “Labracollie”.

I liked it better than Border Retriever.

For those who may not know, Border Collies are fricking SMART. And active. Very, very active. And Labs are also pretty active and need constant attention. Add into this mix that Trixie (yeah, yeah, yeah) is only about 3 months old and completely NOT housetrained and you can probably understand why I’m so scattered right now. I’ll post pics as soon as I can, but suffice it to say that both Trixie and The Mighty Baby get along pretty great so far and Trixie is fast becoming a great addition to the family.

Even with all the poop and pee. Ew.

Mapping The Future

• by GeekMan • In Announcements, Geek Life, Serious •   0

So, I’m going insane… insane-er.

The reason I haven’t been writing lately is that every time I start writing I make the mistake of looking at news sites or turning on my TV and I see stuff that makes me unable to write anything funny. A real estate meltdown, a presidential debate, a bank collapsing, a failed bailout, etc. No matter what I start writing about it almost always turns into a diatribe on current events, which is something I didn’t want to ever do. So, instead of writing something fun, I just didn’t write anything at all.

But now I’m bored with not writing.

So, in the hopes of getting SOME sort of writing done on this site, I figured I’d allow myself some small amount of serious posts here and in so doing hopefully write other, more funny, stuff all the other times I post. I have no idea what I’ll be saying, but truth be told, I have a lot of topics to choose from so almost anything goes. I’m not saying these ‘other’ posts won’t be funny or silly, I’m still The Mighty Geek, but they might not be.

You have been warned.

Here’s a little something on a more Geeky note. I’ve been playing around with Google Maps for the last day or so, and I’ve created one that I think might be fun. It’s called “Where in the World is GeekMan?” and it’s a map showing all the hotels I’ve stayed at during my travels. Now, it’s FAR from a complete listing since I’ve only included about the last year and a half of my travels, plus a few others that I remembered off the top of my head, but I’ll be adding every place I travel to from now on and marking where I am with a green thumbtack. Plus, I’ll keep adding all the places I’ve been to in the past as soon as I can remember all of them. And hey, if you see a green thumbtack in your neck of the woods, drop me a line! You never know… you might be lucky enough to score a drink with The Mighty Geek!

Ahem.

The drink would be a very manly Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri, of course. With a little pink paper umbrella. And a crazy straw with a loop-dee-loop. And a cherry on top. But no whipped cream, because I’m lactose intolerant. Huh? What do you mean, “Why a daiquiri?” It’s obvious, isn’t it? Because only a real Man can handle such a manly drink, that’s why. And I’m the fricking Mighty Geek, baby. That’s right. You know you like it. Who’s your daddy? Who’s your Daddy?

I am. I am your Daddy. Boo-Yah.

Bus Of Doom

• by GeekMan • In Geek Life •   0

Well, maybe not THAT bad, but still depressing.

Traveling by bus may be the least expensive option a lot of times, but it sure isn’t the most comfortable. I had a large lady squeeze (and I do mean SQUEEZE) into the seat next to me on the ride to Maryland on Friday. Now, sitting next to a large person isn’t so bad in and of itself, they’re still people. But when that large person insists on trying to squeeze past me to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes without allowing me to get up and let them pass I might become annoyed. In this case, I got angry after the third time her gigantic butt came into contact with my face because she believed she was skinny enough to fit her two foot wide butt through the six inch opening between my face and the seat in front of me.

Talk about bad moon rising.

Anywaste, Baltimore was a load of fun. I bought some anime stuff I probably shouldn’t have, spent more than I should have and had way more fun that I thought I would. The costumes looked very cool and the people were really nice. The only truly down side was that my camera had a technical problem so I don’t have any pictures of all the cool costumes everyone was wearing, but you can find a whole buch on Flickr if you’re interested in seeing crazy people dressed up as their imaginary friends. And before you ask, NO. I was not so pathetic as to wear a costume.

I… ahem. I didn’t have time to make one.

Ball-T-More

• by GeekMan • In Geek Life •   0

As in Maryland.

Why? Because that’s where Otakon is taking place and I needs me an anime fix! Oh happy day! I’ll be there with about 25,000 of my closest friends so if you’re going to be anywhere in the vicinity feel free to say hello. You’ll be able to tell it’s me because I’ll be one of three people who look clean, don’t stink, isn’t dressed up as an anime character and doesn’t have a horrible case of acne.

Plus, I wear cologne.

Another tip for finding the GeekMan, I am OLD. Just look around for the people who seem too old to be at an anime convention without children to chaperon and I’ll probably be in the middle of that group… crying. Not because I’m sad that I’m old, no. I’ll be crying because all the hot high school and college aged girls who love anime today didn’t exist when I was their age. I mean, when the hell did anime become socially acceptable for sexy cheerleaders to like?!

Dammit. Sometimes life is so unfair.

Fishfone Follies

• by GeekMan • In Geek Life •   0

Did you know cell phones can’t swim?

Funny story. We decided to bring The Mighty Baby to the pool this weekend so she could try swimming for the very first time, and also so HoBiscuit and I could cool off from the hotness that is Arizona. We were all excited to see how TMB would react to her first swim and as soon as we arrived we all jumped in. TMB was enjoying the water and, even though she was cautious, she didn’t cry or got scared except that one time she tried to lay down and realized that she couldn’t breath underwater and choked. That made her scream bloody murder for five minutes, causing a few concerned looks from other parents, who I think were hoping someone would make their day and give them a reason to call child services.

I think one of the ladies actually had them on speed dial.

Anywaste, after about half an hour of swimming I decided to sit down at the edge of the pool and watch HoBiscuit and TMB swim around for a while. And that’s when I realized that in my haste to enter the pool with TMB I had forgotten to empty my pockets of all the wonderful toys and important artifacts that I normally carry in them. The car keys were one thing, a little water wasn’t going to cause them any real damage. The few dollars in my pocket that HoBiscuit had allowed me to have would also be none the worse after drying them out. But, hey. What’s this thin, squarish object in my back pocket…?

Oh. Crap.

Yeah, so my cell phone, which was the hight of cell phone tech about a year ago, is now nothing more than a broken toy for my baby girl. Even worse than being without a phone for a few days is knowing that since that phone didn’t have the ability to sync with my computer all my business phone numbers are now gone. Poof, just like that. But there is good news, of a sort. Since HoBiscuit and I had the same cell phones, we just went to a local Verizon store and had them switch her phone to my number.

And then I bought her a new phone.

Well, it WAS my stupid mistake so why should I get a new phone and leave her with the “old and boring” phone? Since I couldn’t really argue that point, I thought it best to get her what she wanted, which in this case was the Blackberry Curve, and let her enjoy taunting me with how cool her new phone is compared to my “old and boring” phone. Until the Blackberry Bold comes out in January, that is. Because as soon as I can get that thing, I’m going to hold it up in her face and do the Geekgasmic Happy Dance of Superior Technology.

It’s not pretty, but it sure will be fun.

New Hotness

• by GeekMan • In Geek Life, Traveling •   1

Arizona is hot.

No, sorry. It’s not just hot. It’s really, really HOT! With a side order of caliente. Now, I like hot weather as much, if not more than, the next guy, but I don’t like it when the temperature reaches over 85 degrees INSIDE the house I’ve got to sleep in. Now, you’d think that when someone lives in the modern age and has access to the technological wonders of both central air conditioning and electricity, they would USE them to make their homes more comfortable, wouldn’t you? Especially when they have guests, right?

Well, not if we’re talking about my in-laws, I guess.

I now understand that my mother-in-law wasn’t trying to make a joke last week. You see, she’s gotten so used to the heat here that any temperature below 80 is truly considered cold enough to freeze grain alcohol and warrants two layers of clothing and possibly a hat. Since we’ve gotten here, she’s been constantly sneaking around behind us turning off the ceiling fans because she’s cold. Meanwhile, HoBiscuit, the MightyBaby and I have all been sweating so heavily that you can tell where we’ve been by following our footstep-sized puddles. Well, you could if they didn’t evaporate so fast. And the next person to say, “At least it’s a dry heat.” is going to get a swift kick to the nads.

Unless they bring me an icy, cold drink. Then they get a kiss.