Stupid, Stupid CSS

Somebody help me… please?

I’m running into a CSS problem that I can’t seem to solve even after almost 10 hours of futzing around with it. So, if you know CSS and want to help me out before I paint the walls red using my own face as a paintbrush, drop me an email or IM me (MightyBoredGeeK). I think there’s a simple solution to my problem but dagnabbit, it’s driving me crazy!

Boogie, boogie, boogie, boo!