One Week

I’ve been back one whole week… and no one cares.

Oh well, what did I expect? A party? Fireworks? A guest spot on Oprah? No, not really. But I guess I would have liked something. A delicious piece of pie, maybe. Or a happy meal prize, perhaps. I guess just being back a week isn’t enough to warrant anyone noticing, let alone caring. Maybe I should be quicker at finding the funny again? Writing more… I don’t know, humorous things? Maybe I should…

Nah, isn’t telling embarrassing stories about my childhood over with already?

Oh. Oh great. I see that begging puppydog look on your face. You want me to humiliate myself for your amusement again, don’t you? You want to hear all about that time I tried to be “punk” to impress a girl only to discover she had gone country to impress a boy. Or about the time my car actually caught on fire as I was driving a girl home. Or better yet, you want to hear about the time my college girlfriend stole my clothes and all the towels in my dorm room while I was taking a shower and late for a test.

Or how about what I did to get her back.

Well, fine. If that’s what it’ll take to make you happy, then so be it. You’ll never be able to say I didn’t give my all to my readership, will you? Next week I start poking fun at myself again and you’d better be here or I’ll be doubly embarrassed. Once because I posted it, and once because no one reads it.

Dear lord, I am so pathetic.

7 Comments

  1. Well, I *was* excited to see you back, BUT after reading that post about your thumb exploding, I’m not so sure now! I had to come over here today with one eye closed and my hand over the other one before I started reading! Eeeek! Just get back to the funny stuff already…Ok?

  2. Just waiting for a trend in your posts. If the gaps are, say, 6 MONTHS APART, then, no post for you! C’mon, I mean, TMB posts more the you. She’s also much more cuterer, 2.

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