I had a dream last night.
I know, I know. You’re shocked and amazed. Believe me, I was too. I mean my dream wasn’t anything too amazing but since I rarely remember my dreams, I thought it would be fun to tell you about it.
It won’t make sense, but then again, who the hell cares?
It starts off, as most of my dreams do, with me in a public place trying to hide the fact that I’ve forgotten my pants. This dream takes place at an outdoor mall and my teeny-tiny penis is flapping in the wind for all the shoppers to see. Of course, as is the way with dreams, no one else seems to be aware of my lack of body covering until the Dalai Lama rides up on a yellow llama and asks me why I’m naked. Then, and only then, does everyone in the area stop to point and laugh at me.
Mortified, I punch the Dalai Lama in the face and run away.
Turning a corner, I’m suddenly in the middle of a vital business meeting and there is something very, very important I’m supposed to be doing. Unfortunately for me I can’t remember what it was, but I do know that I wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget to do it.
Then I remember that I left the note in my pants pocket.
Knowing how important the note is to my career, I jump on a nearby jet airplane to go home and get the note. During the trip, the plane somehow turns into the helicopter from the movie Blue Thunder being piloted by someone who looked like Thelma from Scooby Doo, but thinner.
Come on, you know she was a tiger in bed. The brainy ones always are.
Anywaste, she tells me we’re under attack so I jump out and land on the roof of my house right before the helicopter blows up. Running inside my house I find that it’s now the world’s largest library and what I need to find is not a simple note in my pants, but a book hidden somewhere in the library.
And I’ve only got ten minutes to find it or I’m fired.
As I’m frantically searching the library for the book, Frankie Muniz (Malcolm, from Malcolm in the Middle) shows up and challenges me to a fight. For some reason or other I agree to fight him and suddenly I’m in a boxing ring getting my butt kicked by a 16 year old kid while HoBiscuit is screaming from the sidelines, “Kick that Geeks ass, Frankie!” Just as he’s about to knock me out, my alarm clock goes off and I wake up. And the strange thing was that when I woke up I wasn’t wearing any pants.
So, anyone want to explain the meaning of this one to me? Anyone?
Hmmmmmm….I think it means you watch too much TV!
Ever have a dream where you’re realy hungry, and you start eating a big fluffy ball of candy floss…
And then you wake up and you can’t find your pillow?
Analysis..
Public place with no pants – Typcial of one’s id trying to break free.
The outdoor mall is where you buy your new pants.
The Dali Lama is your subcounscious trying to tell you that you are stupid for simply not buying pants. The llama is your sexual desire, in which your subconscious is trying to hold down by riding it. Its yellow because if it’s not, you’ll wet the bed.
Everyone in the mall laughs at you in real life. That was a memory. Not a dream.
The incident in the business meeting.. that was also a memory.
The airplane and helpcopter is, again, your libido. The size and speed are making up for your self admitted teeny-tiny penis.
Themla, which we all know to be a lesbian, can either be a link to your passive homosexual desires or a symbol of an unattainable goal. Go for homosexual. It gets more readers into your site.
The exploding helicopter is an orgasm.. just remember to clean up when you wake up.
The library in your house is all the crap you’ve accumulated over the years.. the book is actually your house keys.
The Frankie Muniz section is a collecitve American hallucination. Look out, Frank! The noose is ready and the angry mob is outside your house!
All in all, you can blame your mom for forcing you to eat meatballs and walking the dog.
It’s really inappropriate for your therapist, Mr. Hentai, to leave comments on your site, don’t you think?
Indeed.
Good friends, I must remind you of the cardinal rule: Geek’s misery is our entertainment.
Especially when he wets the bed.
I should save that one for his wedding.. :P
Wow. I suddenly feel very connected to you. I’ve have that same dream, except for a few things being changed. Like: the llama only having three legs instead of being yellow; instead of a note in the pants it was a can of creamed corn i needed; it wasnt Thelma but instead my world history teacher (horrible, i swear); and instead of searching for a book in a library im searching for a CERTAIN video tape in an extensive porno collection. OH, and it wasnt Frankie in mine, it was some mentally changled kid that sure as hell knew how to box, but i felt bad for hitting him. Now i wonder if our dreams have anything in common? no? yeah, I didn’t think so either. oh well.
I agree with Mr. Hentai, geek’s misery is fun – as for the dream we all know what it really means…
*cue x-file music*
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Or not.