Even when I win, I lose.
Apparently, HoBiscuit’s sister was so happy with our visit to her humble abode that she spread the word to MotherBiscuit, who in turn has extended an invitation for HoBiscuit and me to visit her new home in Phoenix, Arizona. And by ‘extended an invitation’ I mean insisted that we fly out there ASAP and visit or there will be hell to pay in the form of guilt, guilt and more guilt. And HoBiscuit, bless her heart, just can’t handle Momma-guilt like I can.
Makes her break out in hives, you understand.
So, long story short, I’m getting on a plane tomorrow morning at 6am to go for another in-law visit. Bad news is that HoBiscuit and I are already being yelled at for spending too much money on little things like plane tickets and car rentals. Most likely, this spendthrift chastisement won’t end once they realize that we’re planning on driving them to Las Vegas for a night where we’ll stay at THE hotel at Mandalay Bay, see ‘O’ which is a Cirque Du Soleil show and then gamble, GAMBLE, GAMBLE!
Good news is they think I’m a wonderful son-in-law.
Now, I love to gamble. Not stupidly, though. I hate it when people don’t have limits and do stupid things like go to the cash machine after losing a month’s paycheck at the roulette table. Any way you slice it, people who do that need an intervention. You see, what I do is go to the table with a set limit and if I lose it then I consider that money to have been spent on ‘entertainment’ and that’s it. I never go back to the ATM for more money because if I did I’d lose my place at the table. That would be dumb.
Instead, I give my card to HoBiscuit and make her go.
Anywaste, I know you’re all thrilled sad that I’ll be gone for yet another week, but cheer up. I’ll be back on Tuesday the 7th of December with what I can only assume will be fun stories for you to read about my hellish travels to the city of sin with my church-going, god-fearing, bible-study-grouping in-laws who, with their constant barrage of guilt-laden jibs, unhappy frowns at the money we’re spending on them and their forlorn looks of parental disapproval, will no doubt cause HoBiscuit to turn into a neurotic psychopath who will in turn make my life a living hell.
Ah, good times. Good times.
OK.. So I need to mail out your stuff on Friday instead, neh?
This from the man who said in his last post that he needed a vacation. GeekMan, has no one told you that time spent with in-laws will NEVER qualify as restful vacation time?
Next time, post something about needing to work, and you’ll end up on a beach in Hawaii.
Ooh, I love Vegas. I went there this past summer for five days (with about 400 other people from the Something Awful Forums) and stayed across the street from Caesars at the Imperial Palace.
I think I lost more money to staying pleasantly buzzed than I did to gambling, but I had a hell of a time and hope to go back next summer. Too fucking hot, though.