Submission #0000001

Citizens, Behold! A new Heroic Team is born!

The meek and timid mass of humanity living within the Big City need never fear the mechanizations of the villainous underworld lying just beneath the surface of their ordinary world again. The good people of AnySmall Town have two new defenders of Justice, two new Protectors of the Way, two new Heroes of Note who are willing to fight for the rights of The Little Guy.

And to them, we are all ‘The Little Guys’.

They shall protect the people of their world, these Mighty Saviors, this Dynamic Duo. No crime shall go unpunished while they are on duty. No shifty-eyed super-villain will escape from the vice-like grip of their Pincers of Righteousness. They are the Defenders of the Defenseless. They will dictate to the Dictator and be heard. They are the Right Hand of Justice, the Left Foot of Freedom, the Throbbing Sexual Organ of Democracy.

They are Bush Master and The Blair Bitch!

Empty-headed public speakers by day, these two Fighters of the Good Fight are ever-ready to jump into action. Sliding down Cleverly Hidden Poles in their secluded mansion whenever the Walkie-Talkie of Imminent Danger should glow with an Amber Alert, they reach the Secret Cave of Pleasure Wonder and don their Plastic & Lycra Battle Suits, complete with Nipple Plates & Codpiece, to rid the world of the evildoers who would threaten the liberties of those under their protection. Their Fanny Packs of Many Uses containing all their tricks and toys for fighting crime belted tightly to their waists.

Bush-A-Rangs and Ultimatum Nunchucks included.

Jumping into The Mighty Mini, Big Dubya and the Boy Blunder race off into the night in search of danger, adventure and any wrongs they need to make right. Perhaps there has been another cowardly attack on Gotham by Osama, The Riddlizer? Could it be that Frances François, better known as Two-Faced, is causing trouble again? Or is it another sick and twisted game being played by their arch-enemy Saddam, the Practical Jokester? Whatever it is, whatever the cost, you can be sure that Bush Master and the Blair Bitch are out there right now, doing everything they can to protect Joe Sixpack and Jane Boxowine from the evils of the world around them.

BushMaster and The Blair Bitch. Coming next season to the WB. Be There!

Thanks to Solonor for pointing this stupidity out to me.

3 Comments

  1. Wait until Season Two when they line up the heroes to see which one really will stop bullets…

    I’m waiting for “Who Wants To Be A Supervillain?”. Then, “Battle of the Network Stars” would really MEAN something!

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