Public Shame

I talk too much.

I’ve got to learn when to keep my big mouth shut. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to hold my tongue when not speaking is the right thing to do, but more often than not I wind up yapping away about the wrong subject and at the worst possible moment in a conversation. This usually leads to public ridicule and derisive laughter, or worse yet, uncomfortable silences. VERY uncomfortable silences.

I’ll give you a quick example;

Coworker #1
“I really hate these clients. No matter what we do, they just keep coming back with more changes. They’re never happy.”

Coworker #2
“Yeah. They’re like roaches. No matter what you try they keep coming back to annoy you.”

Coworker #3
“Or like a fungus.”

GeekMan
“Yeah! Yeah! They’re like dingleberries!”

Coworkers #1, 2 & 3
“…”

GeekMan
“You know? Dingleberries? The little balls of lint-like fuzz that… ah, get stuck… in your… uhm, butt hair?”

[crickets]

GeekMan [hanging head in shame]
“Can I get a do-over? Please?”

Coworkers #1, 2 & 3
“Idiot.”

I need a Control-Z for real life, dammit.