O-bitch-uary

GeekMan is dead.

His body was found underneath his computer desk in his home office by his flu-suffering fiancé HoBiscuit whose only response upon finding his remains was to repeatedly kick him in the groin while screaming, “Dammit, now I have to cancel this stupid wedding and I can’t even get my deposits back! You selfish bastard!”

Understandably, GeekMan had no reply.

Officials believe GeekMan was crushed to death by the combined weight of his wedding reception bills and his guilt about not updating his Blog in a week. Even though some officials did speculate that his death seemed a bit suspicious, they have since filed their reports and the death is now considered a horrible, but pleasantly necessary, accident. No mention was made of the llama hoof prints found near the body or the message, “It was the llamas.” written in his own blood on the floor.

Officials claim that he was just trying to be funny.

GeekMan is survived by a very angry fiancé who will not find this at all funny, a mother who will also not find this at all funny, a brother who will laugh because he knows no one else will find this at all funny, an imaginary antagonist known by the alias ‘Bread’, a very expensive home theater, a video game system and several dust bunnies who will now be free to take over the world.

May he finally rest in peace.

18 Comments

  1. Due to the serious suffering that I’ve experienced during your blogging absence, I cannot share your wish that GeekMan rest in peace. I hope his spirit roams the earth till the end of time, searching for some butter.

  2. Um…. can I have your shrinky-dink snowmen, since you won’t be needing them anymore?

    Oh, and rest in peace, and all that.

    :)

  3. Now when you say “Officials claim that he was just trying to be funny” do you mean in this isolated case, or in general?

  4. *head hung in grief*
    *giggling hidden by hair hanging over face while head is hung in grief*
    It’s not her fault, llama’s always make her giggle.

  5. Oh NO!

    There is NO WAY IN HELL you are getting out of this.

    Im propping up your dead carcass up on the altar wih duct tape and spraying your tux with OFF!

  6. Hopefully it will be an Irish funeral… they know how to send the dearly departed out in style remiscing of old times to pints-a-plenty of Guinness.

    RIP.

  7. Suddenly, it’s not years or months or even days away. You are getting married in a matter of hours! We are probably about thirty (or less) hours away from either you becoming Mr. HoBiscuit or HB becoming Mrs. Geek–or both.

    I’m very excited.

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  9. As first victim.. er.. best man at Geeks Wedding.. I am happy to say Geek is alive, well and now happily married.

    The wedding was fantastic fun, even though I didnt sit still for more than 5 mins.

    Geek will be WORKING the next month or two (the honeymoon is this summer, if you must know) , but Im sure he will drop a line soon.

    Expect pics and wordage from the man himself soon.

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