Much Ado About Nothing

I have nothing of interest to say to you today.

Nope. Nada. Zippo. Nothing.

Really, I thought I would, or at least I thought I might be able to come up with something clever to say if I sat here long enough, but honestly, I can’t think of a single thing to say today to entertain you so you might as well move on to something better somewhere else.

…

Buh-bye, now.

Go on, get.

Shoo.

…

Don’t look at me like that!

What? What do you want from me? Do you want me to dance a jig for you? Would that make you happy? Would you go away then?

…

Fine! Here, look. I’m dancing a jig for you! Look at the stupid friggin’ Geek dancing his little monkey jig to entertain you. Look at me go! Happy now?! Huh?! Huh?! You happy now that you’ve made me into a dance monkey?! Are you?!

Oh, for crying out loud!

Stop crying! Come on! Stop it with the tears.

Why are you crying? Did I scare you with all the yelling? I’m sorry. Look, I’m not mad, ok? I’m not mad at you so you can stop crying now. Really. I’m not mad. Please stop crying.

Please?

Ok, better now? Good. See? There was no need to cry. Look, I’m smiling, see? That means I’m not mad. I’m happy, see?

Good, I’m glad you’re not crying anymore.

What? What are you pointing at…?

Why are you pointing at my feet?

Wha…? Oh, for chrissake!

No. I will NOT do it again.

NO!!!

Oh… dammit, stop. Stop… No crying. Come on, no crying.

[grumblegrumblegrumble]

Fine! Fine, I’ll do it. I’ll do the Geeky monkey dance again but only if you promise to leave me alone when I’m done. Ok?

Sigh, the things I do for you…