HoBiscuit my girlfriend and I might be on TV. Oh yeah, you heard me llama-breath, The Mighty Geek might be coming to a small screen near you.
Yesterday HoBiscuit my girlfriend got wind of a special taping of Inside the Actors Studio starring Will Ferrell of SNL fame. For those of you who don’t know about Will, he does a hilarious impersonation of the host of Inside, whose name is James Lipton. With his makeup on, he even looks like him. So we decided to go over to the New School and see if we could be part of the live audience. Expecting a long line of students and faculty waiting to get inside because every episode I’ve ever seen has a packed audience in attendance, I arrived at the theater two hours early in order to guarantee seats for myself and HoBiscuit my girlfriend.
What can I say, I always try to be early.
When I arrived at the school I politely asked the security guards checking student id’s where I should wait in line for seats. The guards asked me where my id was and I patiently explained that I was not a student and merely wanted to see the performance and would they please tell me where to stand in line. They stood there like cud-chewing cows and blinked at me.
Moments pass.
Trying not to sigh in exasperation, I looked deep into their glassy, uninterested-in-life eyes and tried to make contact with whatever shred of intelligence might have once lived within the confines of their hollow skulls. I reiterated to them that I wasn’t a student and was only there for the show. The guards then explained to me, in small monosyllabic words, that they were clueless, minimum wage morons who were barely able to work up the mental strength to remember how to swallow their own spit and they again asked me for my id.
Lord, give me strength.
After ratcheting down my intelligence to the level of your standard pile of steaming broccoli, I managed to fight through their intellectual deficiencies and finally found myself standing alone outside the main entrance to the theater. Two hours later I could still be found standing there with only HoBiscuit my girlfriend and a grandmother-type woman as company. Apparently, no one at the school or the show bothered to promote this meeting of the minds and therefore no one knew it was taking place except your friendly neighborhood Geek and his HoBiscuit girlfriend.
I wouldn’t have been surprised to learn that the old lady was Will Ferrell’s mother.
She spent the time ignoring us completely and simply stood there with a bag of knitting supplies as her only companion and knitted. By the time we got inside she had knitted a pullover, a pair of mittens, two sweaters, a few hats and some square things that looked like mutant red and yellow doilies.
Really, this woman should be on the Team USA Olympic Knitting Brigade.
Anyway, we really enjoyed ourselves because Will was super funny and we laughed like crazy. Even James was funny, which surprised us since he seems so pompous and arrogant on TV. In person though, he was a pretty cool guy who wasn’t at all afraid to poke fun at himself. It took a while for everything to get set up once we were inside and a few students showed up while we waited, so all in all about 40 people were in attendance. We got lucky and sat in the center of the second row, so we have a good chance of being caught on camera.
The show should air October 14th on Bravo as some sort of special intro to the Gene Hackman show, which is also the 100th episode of Inside. If they have any audience shots with us in them I’ll be sure to point it out here. Especially if I’m picking my nose, cause that’s real entertainment for the masses. Nothing like a Geek picking a winner on national television to brighten your day. Only thing more entertaining than that would be watching a seniors bowling competition on widescreen HDTV complete with Dolby Digital sound.
You wouldn’t want to miss it when Old Man Johnson throws his back out shooting for the seven ten split now, would ya’?
thats cool that you made it in and I am sure it has been a while since anyone wrote you regarding this but I saw it in rerun the other day and I want a copy. I would prefer it on my computer do you know anywhere I can download it from?
First off, you’re an ass. Not as big an ass as Lipton, but an ass. Why? To call the guards morons, well that’s just plain mean. Let me tell you something about the “morons.” I was a student at the New School and had the misfortune of being mugged on 12th street. Luckily for me, one of the New School guards saw this happening and saved me. SAVED ME!!! Got that ASSHOLE!! Had it not been for keen observation of the guards, I could have been raped or killed. Now I’m sorry you were so offended by the guards inability to act as compentent ushers, but that’s not their job dip shit!! You want a baker to fix your car? Hell no. So why are you bagging on the guards? If you are simply flexing the spine on your thesauraus, very well done. But think about this, those guards and millions of people like them are what keep this city running. Who do you think drives the buses, subways and taxis? Keeps the heat or a/c flowing in your building. Hard working blue collar folks. Oh, people like you make me sick! I swear to God, if you were in front of me, I’d slap the living shit out of you. They’re real people with real families to feed. Do you think when they were growing up, they fantasized about be a security guard at the New School? No more so than you fantasized about being a professional geek. Now that I got some of the hostility out, the descriptions were pretty funny.
First off, you’re an ass. Not as big an ass as Lipton, but an ass. Why? To call the guards morons, well that’s just plain mean. Let me tell you something about the “morons.” I was a student at the New School and had the misfortune of being mugged on 12th street. Luckily for me, one of the New School guards saw this happening and saved me. SAVED ME!!! Got that ASSHOLE!! Had it not been for keen observation of the guards, I could have been raped or killed. Now I’m sorry you were so offended by the guards inability to act as compentent ushers, but that’s not their job dip shit!! You want a baker to fix your car? Hell no. So why are you bagging on the guards? If you are simply flexing the spine on your thesaurus, very well done. But think about this, those guards and millions of people like them are what keep this city running. Who do you think drives the buses, subways and taxis? Keeps the heat or a/c flowing in your building. Hard working blue collar folks. Oh, people like you make me sick! I swear to God, if you were in front of me, I’d slap the living shit out of you. They’re real people with real families to feed. Do you think when they were growing up, they fantasized about be a security guard at the New School? No more so than you fantasized about being a professional geek. Now that I got some of the hostility out, the descriptions were pretty funny.
Will Ferrell’s impersonation of James Lipton is nothing short of comedic bliss. I found myself completely swept away in “James” interview with Saved By The Bells’ Dustin Diamond, born again in his genius. I must say that segment was a delight! Not enough excellent things can be said about Ferrell’s portrayal of Mr. lipton, but I “Will” say this: “It is utterly scrumtrelescent!!!”
where can i get a copy of the lipton – lipton?