I’m Going And You’re Not

Next week I will be in Geek Heaven.

It’s not often that I write about all the really, really geeky stuff that happens to me in real life, but next week is special so I thought I would tell you about it. You see, next week I won’t be alone in my Geekiness, standing solitary and proud, basking in the glow of a cathode-ray tube as I mutter arcane and mystical cantrips under my breath.

Be gone, thou most vile of Email Macro Virusi,

I invoke the Dark Lord Gates, the King of Unholy Software Lies!

Out, out foul Bug and deadly Fatal Error Fiend,

By Control, by Alt, and by Delete I doth keep my hard drive cleaned!

[maniacal laughter here]

Next week is a celebration of all things geeky. Thousands of people, no, scratch that, thousands of Geeks will be gathering in one place to look at, touch and talk about every Geek toy on the planet. I will be among them because I have in my possession a ticket to this Mecca of Geekdom.

That’s right, I have a ticket to PC Expo.

Oh boy! Free pens, bags, t-shirts and key chains! The opportunity to play with brand-spanking-new hardware and software with my own two hands! The young and sexy scantily clad models standing outside booths and attempting to entice me to listen to a 15 minute spiel about questionable products by showing me their firm, bouncy and perky breasts! The sights! The sounds!

Oh god, the smells.

The horrible, horrible smell of thousands of sweaty, unwashed Nerds and Geeks packed together in a poorly ventilated space for extended periods of time. The unidentifiable stench coming from the sweating, bald guy sitting next to you for the entire fifteen minute speech you didn’t want to listen to but sat down for anyway because you were momentarily hypnotized by the young model’s fabulous breasts. The inedible foods. The stopped-up toilets. The CIOs.

Oh man, I think I’m going to be sick.

In other news, I was considering joining this event and meeting up with my fellow NYC Bloggers. Anyone have an opinion on whether that’s a good idea or not? Is anyone else considering meeting up with their area’s Blog community, or are we all so antisocial that the mere thought of meeting someone in real life can send us screaming to our hallway closet for a good cry?

7 Comments

  1. You should be gone already. Take pictures, focus on perky breasts and cute models. Forget bloggers, you can still talk/meet later on. But breasts never stay perky.

  2. So I take it no one thinks I should go to the Blog MeetUp?

    Whew!

    Thank god I don’t have to shower!

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