Holding My Tongue

I’m back from Atlanta.

I’m tired, I’m hungry and I have a sore on my tongue the size of a nickel and it hurts like heck. Whenever I talk it feels like there’s an army of tiny Argonauts on my teeth stabbing my tongue with tiny, needle-sharp swords. Just swallowing my own spit is an effort of willpower worthy of an unrepentant torture victim during the Inquisition and don’t even get me started on eating.

Even soup makes me cry.

All I want now is a bathtub full of Anbesol and a soft bed so I can sleep. I won’t even think about humor until I’m able to eat without feeling so much pain that I actually want to rip my tongue out of my mouth and cauterize the open sore with a white-hot branding iron. I’m in pain folks, The Mighty Geek has found his Kryptonite and he has been defeated.

Woe is me.

9 Comments

  1. One too many hot wings at Hooters… I warned you!

    BTW, solonor, how did you know about the hookers? They were outside everywhere when I left geek passed out in his hotel room.

  2. I concur w/Mark… L-Lysine will help (slowly but surely). You can buy it in powder form and put it right on for faster action… but Zilactin or Orajel or whatever is the best. I’ve even used Bactine in a pinch… same difference. Just don’t swallow too much! :-D

    I get sores like that from acidic food, like orange juice and strawberries and have suffered my fair share. Also, ice helps and speeds recovery.

    **happy thoughts for a happier tongue to you**

  3. As a canker sore sufferer I have one word for you, Aphthasol. Its generic name is amlexanox oral paste. See your doctor or your dentist and get a prescription. It’s worth it.

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