Envy

“I want a Toy.”
“What?”
“I said I want a Toy, GeekMan. You always buy yourself cool toys like cameras, computers, dolls…”
“Hey! How many times do I have to tell you that they’re called action figures not dolls, huh?”
“Right. And the one that looks like a teenage girl skipping in a sun dress?”
“She’s the main character from a Japanese anime movie! She’s, like, totally an action figure! Duuuh!”

[crickets]

“Uh, you were saying?”
“I was saying that it’s not fair that you always get the toys. I want one.”
“You want a toy?”
“No. I want a Toy. A TOY.”
“Ah. You want a Toy.”
“Yes. And not just any Toy, it’s got to be a cool Toy. A really cool Toy. iPod-like, y’know? But not an iPod because I already have an MP3 player and I don’t need another one, ok? But something like that. You know, cool.”
“…”
“What are you thinking?”
“Well, I was just thinking of a cool Toy I wouldn’t mind seeing you play with…”

[crickets on ice]

“Right. Bad GeekMan. You were saying…?”
“I want a cool Toy and after that last comment I think you need to buy me one.”
“What?! Are you kidding me?! If you want a cool Toy so bad, why don’t you just go and get it your…”

[spider-sense tingles]

“Uh… I mean, do you have any idea what you might like to receive as a… uh, Show Your Significant Other Your Undying Love and Affection for No Apparent Reason in the Form of a Cool Toy on a Tuesday in April gift?”
“As a matter of fact, wiseass, I do.”
“Be gentle…”

Look out world, HoBiscuit’s got a new Toy. And dammit, I’m jealous.