What is it with women and toilet seats?
Why is it so hard for women to understand that men pee standing up? Don’t they realize that if the seat is down that a man must make the effort to pick the seat up before he can relieve himself? The extra 3 seconds that takes can be crucial to proper bladder release. The basic law of gravity makes it clear that it takes less energy to put something down than pick it up, so I can only conclude that women are selfish and unreasonable when it comes to toilet etiquette.
But I have a solution.
I propose that from this day forward men and women must put both the toilet seat and the toilet cover down after every use. This will end the war once and for all while also having three clearly beneficial results.
- Regardless of whom makes the stinky, closing the lid will help contain the smell while being flushed. Men, you are allowed 30 seconds in which to admire the size, shape, construction and possible weight of that spectacular anal bomb you just burst a vein forcibly expulsing from your sphincter. If said poo is truly noteworthy, you are allowed one picture to show friends and family at reunions, family gatherings and the like.
- Everyone will now need to lift at least one item before they can actually use the toilet. Women and men will thus be on equal footing and further arguments will be avoided.
- Closing the lid will help cure the universally disgusting affliction of, Oops! I just dropped the ______ in the toilet! syndrome. Finally, bathroom items such as toothbrushes, soap, razors, eyeglasses, books, lipstick and such will be safe from a death worse than fate. Drowning in a pool of rancid water as a human looks down pondering whether the item is worth getting their hands dirty to retrieve or would flushing solve the problem. What a horrible way to go.
In conclusion, from this day forward, I decree that all toilets in the world must be lidded when not in use. Anyone found breaking this law will suffer the consequences, which have not yet been determined but will be suitably nasty enough that merely mentioning them will result screams of terror, or at least a momentary loss of bladder control.
Oh, and here’s a picture of some naked Boobies.
Theres a lid on the toilet?
My take:
Thee who cleans the toilet gets to choose the default orientation of the toilet seat.
In our house, it’s a must to keep the cover down, since we have a cat that loves to drink outta anything but her water dish. It wouldn’t be good if kitty had a mouthful of 2000 Flushes.
My husband does this and is teaching our son to do it. Seems fair to me.
Good ideas.Actually the cover should always be put down before flushing coz the act of flushing releases rhinoviruses into the air which can cause colds.
Another interesting tidbit – if your toothbrush is within 6 feet of an uncovered flushing toilet,it is contaminated.Send it to the dishwasher for a cleaning.
Nice boobies…
We, too, close the lid to the toilet because of kitty issues. One drinks out of the thing (rather than the cup we place in the sink for kitty drinking) and another kitty has arthitis, so the toilet lid acts as a stepping stool to reach the cup-in-the-sink.
So around here, it’s not about who stands and who sits (humans); it’s all about the kitties …
I wholeheartedly agree with all points. Esp. the ones about the germs and the equal time lifting/dropping for both people. I had to teach Joe that rule when we first started dating. It was easy. All I had to say was, “If you want me in the bedroom making you a very happy man instead of the bathroom cleaning the toilet bowl after you use the john, you will put the lid down before you flush every time.” No repeats, no nagging. Simple enough. It was pretty much the same question when it came to the shower curtain, too, btw. There isn’t anything more tedious than cleaning mildew off of a plastic tarp. Ugh.
Island Boy and I decided from day one that the issue would be solved by keeping both the seat and the lid down when said toilet is not in use. It’s truly saved our marriage!
boobies poo wee willy
Thanks for the input. I am giving a persuasive speech next week on this very subject. PS I put the lid down, too.
I spent many years in Europe, and on returning to the U.S. I was surprised to hear some much about toilet covers. This is a completely new issue to me, which I believe did not even exist so openly years ago. Are we talkng about the top cover or the rim you sit on, or both, or either? As a male user, I often forget to put the top cover down, and it has nothing to do with men standing to pee, because I sit to pee ’cause it’s more hygienic (avoids projection of mini-droplets of urine all over the place, knees and pants) as a major study has shown. If stand to pee, and you pee three times a day, 365 times a year, you accumulated hundreds of thousands of mini-droplets of urine on your trousers and project them onto the walls of your bathroom. So let’s all sit to pee and share the same blame as regards the toilet cover.
I m new to toilet seats. Please tell me that when a man goes for relief from anal, is he required to sit on the rim under the toilet cover or even that rim has to be lift. if not then in which case that has to be pulled up?
I m waiting for the answer.
We should infact get rid of all toilets in our homes and return to doing our “business” outside. It would be a welcome return to nature! Ahhhh!