Design Of A Decade

I’m going fricking nuts.

This week is all about the Mighty Wedding Invitations, so I have almost no time whatsoever for anything HoBiscuit considers unnecessary or off-topic. You know, things like eating, sleeping or breathing all take a backseat to the construction of the perfect wedding invitation, especially when we (read: I) need to finish them before the end of the month. In fact, the only way I’ve been able to get on the web at all has been by secretly tapping into my previously latent psychic abilities and warping the time/space continuum in such a way as to halt time long enough to properly wordsmith this missive without letting HoBiscuit find out what I was doing.

So if anyone tells HoBiscuit that I Blogged today, I’m a dead man.

BTW, anyone know any good love poems and/or travel poems that are wedding invitation worthy? I’ve come up with a great design for the invitations but I need a love poem about marriage and a love poem about travel for it, and I can’t seem to find any good ones anywhere on the web.

Excuse me while I use this spoon to pop my left eyeball out of my skull and then squash it in my own fist.

Also, if you are a hairy man in need of sleep, do not attempt to light your farts to impress your mate and/or friends. Explaining the four alarm fire engulfing your entire neighborhood to the fire marshal is neither a fun, nor an enjoyable, experience, no matter how loud the laughter is from your so-called ‘friends’. It is especially un-fun when you are completely covered in third degree burns and every hair on your body has melted into the top layer of your skin making you look like a giant talking mound of flesh-colored wax.

And technically, you were working with flammable materials in a confined area so when the fire marshal gives you a ticket, don’t act so surprised.

Don’t ask. Just trust me on this one, k?