Chevy Travesty

Inconceivable!

Have you seen the latest commercial for the Chevy Traverse that is being shown during the Olympics? If you haven’t here’s a somewhat clipped version of it. For those too lazy to click the link and watch the video, let me describe it to you via my inner monologue the first time I saw it.

“Commercial time! That means I can go to the bathroom before they get back to showing the women’s beach volleyball quarter finals…”
“What the hell…?”
“Why is there a guy with no shirt on my TV?”
“And why is he ironing something with a PINK iron?”
“What?! Six month anniversary?! Looooserrrr!”
“…”
“That’s a kids dress! For a little girl! Like a child!”
“Holy crap, this guy’s a pedophile!”
“What’s this commercial for?”
A CAR?!?!?!?!
“What the HELL does a p-whipped guy ironing little girl clothes have to do with a car?!”
“By the unholy alliance of mayo and pickles, what schmuck in marketing at Chevy thought it was a good idea to greenlight this commercial? How exactly does making Chevy the official pedophiles automobile of choice make any kind of sense?”
“And OMG, now he’s on his knees cleaning the toilet.”
“I think I’m going to need to douse my eyes with bleach to remove this from my head.”
“Chevy, you are sick, sick people. Seek professional help before someone gets hurt. Please.”

It’s haunting my dreams. I’m scared to sleep because if I close my eyes the scary pedophile in the bright red Chevy Traverse is going to drive into my head and steal my soul. I’ll never, ever be able to see a black toilet again without thinking of some shirtless pervert cleaning it. And don’t even get me started on how scary pink irons were BEFORE I saw this commercial.

Somebody hold me.

3 Comments

  1. You know, it’s a completely untapped demographic…how many other companies market to pedophiles, it could be a big hit. At the least we’d know who they were by the car they drove. If you see a Chevy circling the playground several times…get your kid out of there quick.

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