This couldn’t be happening.
My Aeron chair let out a slight squeak in the darkness as I sat in front of my dark computer screen in my dark house on my dark street in the dark city. Moisture from my sweat covered body dripped down my hunched back and gathered in the crack of my anus as I feverishly pressed the power button of my computer for the millionth time in the hopes that some miracle would occur. That someway, somehow my computer would magically turn on without electricity.
Dammit.
After seven hours of this impulsive/compulsive behavior, I reluctantly concluded that without electricity even my computer could not function. As I lifted myself out of my chair (making the ssshhhhlllip noise of sweaty skin being peeled away from vynil) I noticed that HoBiscuit had managed to find her way home.
“Hey Sweetie. I think we blew a fuse or something.”
“You’re an idiot. The power’s out in the whole city and I had to walk home!”
“Wow. Midtown to Brooklyn? Isn’t that, like, far?”
“It took me three hours, you insensitive jerk! I walked forever! In flip-flops!”
“Oh. Well, you did say you wanted to get some exercise, right? So let’s go get some traditional NY Blackout dinner and look at the stars.”
“But my feet hurt! And what’s traditional NY Blackout food?”
“Pizza, of course.”
This morning we still had no power, so we decided to go out and walk in the park. Meeting up with another friend of ours, we spent a delightful day sitting in the shade of Prospect Park and watching all the other powerless people frolicking on the grass. We then went out for dinner (pizza again) and then walked our way back home.
Hazzah! Our power had returned!
So, after a beautiful day in the park with my beautiful woman in my arms, what do you think I’m doing with my newfound power?
That’s right. I’m watching preseason football on tv with all the lights on in my frigidly air-conditioned house as my popcorn cooks in the microwave.
Screw nature. Give me my climate control and cable or I’ll kill you.
Just in case you wanted to see the mayhem with your own eyes, here are some pictures HoBiscuit took on her looooong walk home.
Good grief. You got a frickin’ buttload of people in that there city! I’m glad she didn’t wind up sleeping in the gutter or stuck in an elevator or something.
You did use this opportunity to gain brownie points with her, right? Foot rub? Over-the-top “I’m so glad you made it home safe, sweetie!”? Survival present?
I am still not sure that I have had enough therapy to discuss it. Despite three surge protectors and a battery back up the blow took out my favourite monitor, of course the batteries on the laptops were not charged so I ended up with possiblt the longest time sans computers since I was 14.
So in short I joined my porch monkey neighbours and whined like Anna Nichole for several hours.
WOW! Great photos, HoBiscuit.
dude..the blackout was the coolest…darkness everywhere!!an dwe got to use matches…muahaha..FIRE!!!:D
the only people i think it bothered..was computer adicts like you..right?