A Short Explanation Of My Absence

I shall attempt to be brief.

There I was, doing my best to write something witty and comment worthy on my silly website, when what did I get for my troubles but a mid-afternoon phone call from a frantic client who needed me to fly out to New Orleans right now to save their buttinsky’s. So, after this worthy and exceptionally wealthy client agreed to throw substantially large sums of money at me to appease my monetary compensational needs, I packed an overnight bag, grabbed my computers and headed to the airport. When I landed I was met by a man holding a sign with my name on it, spelled incorrectly, of course, and he drove me to the hotel I would be spending the night in and, once checked in to said hotel, I went in search of my frantic and deep pocketed client.

Yada, yada, yada… I saved the day.

Being groveled to in public has never been my favorite means of receiving payment for services rendered, preferring as I do large sacks of coinage with immense green ‘$’ symbols emblazoned upon them, so whilst my afore-mentioned clients of largess were upon their knees in supplication to my Superman-like day saving skills, I hastily made my escape. I then went through the whole travelogue exercise I related to you above, but in reverse you understand, and have so come home yet again.

And home is now where I seem to be.

Which is all to say, in an abbreviated form, that I was unable to write yesterday not because of my own laziness, which you understand is not in question here for I am truly one of the worlds’ most lackadaisical and slovenly sloth-like lazy people, having once been so lacking in verve and, for lack of a better term, ‘gumption’, that I refused to move out of the way of a speeding automobile because doing so would be far too much like work, which will bring to mind once again that it was not my laziness that caused me to miss a day of writing, but my monetary need to be someplace else.

In other words; I didn’t write because I was busy. So bite me.

Also, isn’t ANYONE going to enter my contest?

5 Comments

  1. Dude, (and I say this with the upmost respect and groveling), your contest is … um … well … too hard (extra whining added).

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