The Mighty Geek Too dumb to be a Nerd.

19Feb/03Off

Throat Scabs

“What the heck?”

I stared at the tiny, hard, white and rubbery thing that I had just coughed up in consternation. I didn’t remember eating anything like what I was holding in my hand, and since the offending object had somehow managed to crawl up from the depths of my esophagus without my noticing it until it began its tickle torture on my uvula, I wanted to know what the hell it was before I smooshed it between my fingers and tossed it in the trash. What can I say? After being forced to watch Joe Millionaire last night I was feeling particularly vindictive.

Yeah, I’m petty. So what?

The offending object had the color of dirty milk and, by the way it had managed to ravage my throat as it made its escape from my windpipe, an outer shell made of equal parts sandpaper, old leather and ground glass. It was about the size of half a grain of rice, but squashed flat with a small lump in the center. Kind of like it’s nucleus, so to speak.

Rolling it between my fingers had no effect on its shape.

I started listing everything I had eaten in the last few days in my head trying to figure out what this alien embryo was made of. After about half an hour I found that I was making myself hungry but was still completely flabbergasted and no closer to identifying my mystery throat ejaculate than I had been before I began. Shrugging mentally, I flicked the offensive piece of detritus off my hand and continued on my way, determined to put it completely out of my mind.

But the little bastard was not to be gotten rid of so easily.

All day, no matter what I’ve been doing, thoughts of that unidentified piece of crap have been running through my head. I know I’m not the only person to ever have something like that come out of their mouth because I’ve actually asked people and it seems to have happened to almost everyone. Everyone seems to agree that they’re annoying but no one, and I mean no one, has any idea what the name of the damn things are, or what they’re made of.

Not even my doctor friends.

So, now that I’m unable to sleep because I’ve been too busy doing internet searches for ‘white thingie you cough up’ I figured I might as well ask my loyal readers if anyone else out there has ever had the misfortune of discovering one of these little bastards clinging to the back of their tongue. If so, what the hell was it and what do you think it was made of? Oh, and by the way, I’ve taken the liberty of naming them just so I can stop coming up with clever ways of saying ‘hard, white thingie I coughed up from my throat’. From this day forward these tiny minions of evil shall be known throughout the world as Throat Scabs.

Copyrighted and Trade Marked by The Mighty Geek. Patent Pending.

Just like Pinger©™®.

*** Update ***

Due to the amount of traffic this post has garnered by those who are afflicted with these horrible Throat Scabs, I have decided to no longer allow comments on this post until someone has actual medical knowledge to impart that has not yert been discussed. If you think you have something important to add to this topic, please email geekman AT themightygeek DOT com and I'll add it for you if it is relevant.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to write about their troubles with tonsilloliths, and their homemade remedy's.

GeekMan.

*** Update 03/08/04 ***

Thanks to a wonderful girl who seems to like green flowers, and who apparently wishes to remain anonymous, I was pointed towards this article which may help those of us afflicted with this horrid, horrid nuisance.

*** Update 06/09/04 ***

A kind gentleman named Roland from New Zealand sent us a link to this website which carries a product called BLiS Throat Guard that he claims helped solve his Tonsillolith problem. Roland says;

I had this problem for 50 years and finally found something that works. It is called Blis Throat Guard, developed at the University of Otago and on sale in New Zealand, I do not know about other countries. The best I can figure out how it works is like thinking of your throat and mouth as a microscoptic garden with bacteria growing all over it. The first step is to weed out the garden of bad bacteria and then replant with good plants) bacteria. Take a look at the site they have on the net and see if they sell overseas yet.

Thank you Roland!

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Comments (162) Trackbacks (3)
  1. Armed with q-tip and headin for bathroom. How can you dig these things out,I have throwed up twice nad can’t dig. I have had this problem for years and use the water pik but still have them. Glad to see the rest of you on here also. Can we use as weapons of mass distruction. One smell and Sadam would have been gone long ago…lol

  2. oh and ps ive had no trouble since having my tonsils removed

  3. One method of removal:
    With a light fixture behind you, take a hand held mirror and look into your mouth (no flashlight necessary).
    Use a q-tip or tooth cleaning tool (something with a dull point) to either push on the tonsil or to dislogdge the tonsilloth from its “place.” The problem in removal is that what usually comes out easily is the junk that has overly accumulated and has no where else to go. The tonsils are breeding these icky things. If you press on the tonsils you will probably see more of the white junk pop out but you are also likely to gag. After you have done this removal over a period of time, the gagging reflex seems to diminish and/or disappear. Disinfect any “tool” you use and don’t become overly aggressive (the tonsils will bleed). Gargle with warm salt water. Good Luck.

  4. I sing at church and they sometimes decide to dislodge in the middle of praise service. Occasionally i’ll be really into a gospel high note and it will fly right out. No one has seemed to notice YET. I would be gross to reach up and while the whole church is staring at me, pluck the the “nasty, funky seed of evil” out of my mouth. Or worse yet swollow an enormous one and choke or gag right there on the alter. I try to push it under my tongue or next to my cheek, to no avail, the thing are to big and nasty to hide there :( . I have learned to take tissues up with me an ever so holyilly cover my mouth for a quick spit up. This whole situation sucks. I have a major allergy & sinus problem. I go to the doctor tommorrow to discuss my options in dealing with this whole tonsil stone scenario. I’m going armed with documents I printed from the internet. I’ll keep you posted. Pray for me.

  5. My family and I have gotten these since we were young. We named them “Cocky Balls” because they stink so bad.

  6. Me too. Here’s what I do, and this seems to get rid of them for some time…Grab a flash light or set up a bright ass light behind you. Then, stay with me here, take a paper clip (one of the smaller ones, not the big ones oe the ones ribbed for her pleasure) and unfold it once. You’ll now have a long straight part with a large curve on one side and a smaller curve on the other. OK, straighten out the longer part so you just have the small curl. Then make a loop out of the small side only big enough for a BB or so to fit through the loop. You may have to then bend the excess from the loop so it hugs the shaft of the clip. Now, stick it into the crypts, twirl, and pull out until each is cleaned out. Then, squirt a diluted mix of hydrogen peroxide and a LITTLE h2o in there to kill the bacteria. The problem with just pushing the tonsil is that just the surface balls dislodge, but more are inside the little stink bat caves.

    Here’s a funny: when I finally told my sister about mine, she said she has them and that her extraction method was the exact same as mine! After you do this, the tonsil will bleed a little, but they’ll stay clean for awhile.

    One time I had a huge one and was saving it for the doctor. Well, the next day it was dried up and shrunk. I put it on a drop of water and the damn thing re-hydrated again! What the funk?

    Good luck all you stinky ball soldiers!

  7. how the hell do you get rid of these damn things! My throat kills when i swallow and when i try diggin them out my tonsils bleed and it just makes it worse! help!!

  8. Went to the doctor. He nor his nurse knew the name of them, but when I described them he knew what I was talking about. When I showed the papers to him he laughed and said they invented a name for this to. He said to gargle with peroxide carefully so as not to swallow it. He also said they if the tonsil were inflammed a saltwater gargle would help but peroxide would be better to use and would kill the germs and the bubbles would help to oxygenate the stank ball from their crypts. I showed him a picture of the products the sell over the internet he said they were probably products containing mostly peroxide. Good luck my fellow soldiers, may victory come swiftly.

  9. Thank you, everyone for sharing your stories as gross as it may seem your information is helpful. I to suffer from this nasty ailment. I find it strange that so many of us here say that we have these “chunks” on the left side? Im a female, 30 yrs old and get them on the back lower left side of my tonsil. It seems I first get a sore throat then the constant bother of the something in your throat feeling. Tonight I spit one out that has been tickling and rubbing my throat for 2 months. UGH!! There has got to be a better solution then removal of the tonsils. My ENT said it was food particals from cryptic tonsils. Im not completely sure that is all it is. He suggested hydrogen peroxide diluted with water for mouth wash, and to gargle with warm water. Today my gargle fest with the warm water of my shower must have worked since it shot out of my throat when i coughed. I do want to mention that the ENT also said you can have the tonsils “shaved” and not completely removed. This is supposed to take off the crypts that the “chunks” form in. I have been considering this has anyone else had this operation? Please let us know.

  10. I USED to have this problem but don’t anymore. I think it must be contagious because now my husband has the problem.
    I will tell what helped me and others can try and see if it will help them. I had these in my throat for years. I am the mother of two children and as my children got older, I started getting more sleep and rest. I went to grief counseling (my mother died with I was a teen.) The white chunks are gone. Every once in a while when I’m having an especially stressful time in my life (lots of work deadlines or a very heavy schedule for a few weeks for example), then I will find a few small pieces of while stuff in my throat. For me, this is a signal that I need to get more rest and slow down. So for me, this is one way that my body reacts to stress. I did some research and during stressful times, the body has a harder time fighting off infections and such. My husband’s problem appeared about two years ago when he was faced with some very stressful issues at work. He owns his own business so that is plenty of stress to start with. So anyway, if anyone wants to try getting more rest and figuring out how to deal with some stresses in your life (that you may not even be aware of –a good counselor can help with this), I’d like to know if it helps. I feel SO much better now!

  11. Man I’ve waited years for this site. The stench of these things is horrific. Really dont wanna have to go through having my tonsils removed, so i’m gonna give the warm salt water a try for a month and see how that goes, and i’ll give an update.I once had a dream about waking up to find my mouth filled with a giant one, like a tumor or something, and I ended up on Jerry Springer about it. Been paranoid as hell about these things.Straight from the back of ya mouth, here come “the rolling tonsil stones”

  12. so i got my first tonsillolith today. i felt like i had popcorn kernel skin stuck in the back of my throat so i went in the the bathroom with a flashlight and a qtip and looked…to my surprise there was this huge hole in my tonsil -upon further inspection 3 huge gaping holes- and i pushed on it and this white shit came out. i freaked out and thought i had ruptured my tonsil cos id been coughing alot. came home and googled for “holes in tonsils” and found this site. happy to know im not the only one. i started rinsing with salt water. felt good for a bit and then i had a few more to pop out…alot of sites ive looked into said that the smell from the actual gob of crap isnt really indicitave of your breath…so not always does a stinky ball = stinky breath. my balls only smelled when i squished em ^_^


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