Yawn

I’m tired.

I think I’m going to go back to bed and try to restart the dream I was just having. It was a good one, too. It involved Salma Hayek, Lucy Lui, Beyoncé, Jessica Alba and me. If I remember correctly, we were at some kind of private party and the ladies had been drinking a little and decided that what they really needed as a nightcap was a GeekMan sundae.

Who was I to argue?

So into the hot tub I went, followed by 20 gallons of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream and about 10 pounds of whipped cream. All of this was fine and dandy, but I knew things weren’t going to end well when Lucy announced that she was allergic to nuts and Jessica told her that it just wasn’t a GeekMan sundae without the nuts. With Beyoncé backing Jessica and Salma egging Lucy on, a catfight was inevitable.

Who was I to stop it?

Just as Jessica ripped Lucy’s shirt open to reveal her black, lacy bra and Lucy retaliated by tearing Jessica’s skirt from her luscious body, I was rudely awakened by the sound of a ringing telephone. And now, all I want to do is go back into this dream to see how it ends because call me curious, but I really want to know who could kick who’s ass; Lucy Lui or Jessica Alba. More importantly, since I’m the damn prize, I want to know how I’m going to ‘reward’ the winner and/or console the ‘loser’.

Who am I to choose?

In other news, would the young lady from far away who sent HoBiscuit and I this wonderful gift please email me so I’ll know if it’s ok to publicly humiliate her on this website as I have for the other idiots nice people who’ve bought us stuff? I’m really amazed that some people are this nice, so I need to make sure that I won’t actually insult anyone when I… uh, insult them for being so stupid fricking nice.

If she’s lucky, maybe I’ll even write her a song…