What a fun and wonderful weekend!
It’s amazing how much fun one can have beating the piss out of small children while their parents root you on to ever greater heights of child abuse. It’s even more fun when the children in question only cry when you stop beating them.
“Little Timmy, why are you crying?”
“Uncle GeekMan hasn’t thrown me into the pool in forever!”
“But he just threw you twenty feet into the deep end not five minutes ago!”
“No he didn’t.”
“Timmy, I heard your frightened scream from inside the house.”
“But he’s thrown Dave in twice since then and he made Amy bellyflop and John got so scared he peed as he hit the water and it’s not fair!”
“OK, Timmy. What if Uncle GeekMan flips you over his back and holds your head under the water until you black out? Would you be happy then?”
“Cool!”
[all other kids]
“Me next! Me next! I want to black out, too!”
Ah, the simple pleasures of life.
