Overheard conversations on my trip so far.

Woman: “I don’t care what you think, you have to do it.”
BoyChild: “But why?”
Woman: “Because. That’s why.”
BoyChild: “But I’ve been practicing mom! I’m getting real good, you know. I hardly miss anymore.”
Woman [exasperated]: “I know, honey. But no matter how much you practice, you’ll still have to lift the toilet seat before peeing.”
BoyChild [petulant]: “Every time?”
Woman: “Yes, dear. Every time.”

Work Associate: “The exit we get off at is ‘Exit 5, Purdy, Somers’”
GeekMan: “Come again?”
Work Associate: “Exit 5. Purdy, Somers.”
GeekMan: *snicker*
Work Associate: “What?”
GeekMan: “That is such a porn star name.”
Work Associate: “Oh. I don’t… OH!”
GeekMan: *snicker*
Work Associate: *snicker*
Both: Bawchicka-chicka bowbowwww…
[much giggling ensues]

Man 1: “You do what?”
Man 2: “I take Flax-Ease.”
Man 3: *snicker*
Man 2: “Don’t laugh, it helps me stay regular. Works like a charm, too.”
Man 1: “Right. So, do you have to do a handstand every morning or something?”
Man 2: “Ha-frickin-ha. It’s in pill form. I take it like an aspirin.”
Man 3: “Oh! For a minute there, I thought you were going to tell us it came in a metal can and you used one of them old oil can spout things and then sat on it.”
Man 2: “That’s not funny. Let me tell you guys something, when I die in a hundred years my colon’s gonna be in a frickin museum as an example of a perfectly healthy colon. I’ll be known as the guy with the healthiest colon in history. I’ll be Flax-ease’s Frickin mascot!”
Man 3: “You’re going to be the ‘FlaxMan’?”
Man 1 [laughing so hard he can hardly speak]: “FlaxMan! Hahahaha! Form of ‘Flax-Ease! Shape of ‘Oil Can Spout!’”
Man 3 [between gasps for air]: “Have no fear, citizens! I, FlaxMan, will use my super sphincter to save the day!”
Man 1 [crying]: “Quickly Number 2! To the Poopmobile!”
Man 1 & 3 collapse to the floor, unable to breathe from laughing so hard.
Man 2: “See? See?!? This is why I never tell you guys anything.”