Slowly I turn…

So, I’m getting closer to actually writing here again but the thing that’s really causing me to stall is the stupid design of this site. I’ve got another one of my “neat” and “cool” designs all done up but every time I try to port it over to WordPress I get stuck. I just can’t wrap my head around WordPress’ use of templates and I’m beginning to believe I never will.

It just baffles me.

Of course, if my design was something simple I think I could handle it, but unfortunately for me my designs aren’t so easy as your standard: header, left column, center column, right column and footer. Oh, no. I have to be fricking unique and design something with overlapping columns, multiple image swaps on mouseovers and icons for links instead of standard text links.

Yeah, yeah, I’m a moron.

Anywaste, like I said, I’m getting really close to having the time to once again update on a regular basis. However, after once again being thwarted in my attempts to get this site design updated by my lack of Mad WordPress Coding Skilz, I came to the conclusion that I just didn’t care to continue banging my stubborn noggin on the concrete wall that is WordPress and that maybe, just maybe, I should give up my cool design.

Then I came to my senses and decided to ask for help.

So here I am, begging for help from anyone who might be able to take my design and images and creating the proper WordPress templates for me. Most likely no one will take me up on this without a bribe of some sort, so I came up with a silly idea of a nice exchange. In return for your help in turning my design into a set of standards compliant WordPress templates I will do one of the following (your choice):

• Design or redesign a website for you
• Write a funny post about you and link to your site in said post
• Be your best friend (for one day only and I chose the day)
• A happy dance

Please, won’t someone help this poor Geek?