Brokeback GeekMan

I broke my back on Friday.

Well, ‘broke’ is a strong word, but I definitely did something bad to my lower back and moving has become a painful thing that I’m trying to avoid. At all costs. So forgive me for not yet finishing my series on buying a computer, but I promise you it will be done as soon as I can get myself to sit comfortably for longer than 20 minutes at a time. I’ll be back soon, so no worries. And if anyone still cares, the baby is doing well and HoBiscuit is healthy and happy as she gets nice and big. Almost as if she’s swallowed a basketball that is slowly morphing into a beach ball. It’s so cute when she forgets how big she’s gotten and she tries to squeeze through a small opening between rows of seats in a restaurant. Wait. If HoBiscuit doesn’t think knocking into things with her belly is cute or funny, does that mean I’m not allowed to either?

Really? Oh. Well then, maybe it’s not cute after all.

The 5 Steps: The Function

Or, what do you want the computer to do for you?

This is part 4 of an ongoing series devoted to helping people discover a better way to purchase a computer. In this series I am explaining in detail how I go about helping friends and family through the confusing process of making a computer purchase when they don’t know very much about computers, other than they need one, by pretending to have a conversation with a fictional friend named Sarah.

For those just joining us, click for parts 1, 2 and 3.

Sarah and I had been discussing my 5 Steps for buying a computer for about 10 minutes now and so far we had figured out her Budget and The Form she wanted the computer to come in. Since she had come to me nearly in a panic, overwhelmed by all the choices she thought she had to make about things she didn’t understand, I thought we were doing very well. Sarah must have thought the same because she actually smiled as she reached for her fifth cookie.

I tried not to smile as I took a bite of my first.

“So, GeekMan. What do you mean when you say ‘The Function’?”
“Well Sarah, when I say ‘The Function’ I’m talking about what the computer will do. Specifically, what you need the computer to be able to do to satisfy your computing needs.”
“How am I supposed to know that if I don’t know what my needs are yet?”
“Sarah, you already know what you want the computer to do, you just haven’t thought it all the way through and itemized it for yourself yet.”
“What you talking about, GeekMan?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Sarah may not know much about computers, but she sure does a great Gary Coleman.

“That was great, Sarah.”
“Thanks, but the question still stands.”
“OK, let me try to answer you by asking you a few questions.”
“Alright.”
“When you came to me for help you said you needed a computer, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Why did you need a computer?”
“Well, I’ve been staying later and later at my office, trying to catch up on all the work that’s been piling up, and I thought it would be a good idea to get a computer to use at home at night instead of staying so late at the office. Plus, sometimes my friends send me emails inviting me out but, because I can only read them when I’m in the office, I sometimes don’t get them until the next day, which is usually too late.”
“What programs do you use most at the office?”
“Not too many. Email, web browser, Excel, Word and the occasional PowerPoint presentation.”
“Anything else?”
“Well, sometimes, if I’m alone and working late, I listen to music.”
“OK Sarah, you’ve just described your computing needs.”
“I did?”

Sarah looked confused for a moment as she mentally reviewed the last few moments of our conversation, but she quickly realized that I was right and she gave me a sheepish smile.

“Oh, I see. You mean the computer I buy needs to allow me to work from home, surf the internet and listen to music, don’t you?”
“She can be taught!”
“Ok, ok. I admit it, I was a little slow to catch up there, but I did figure it out… eventually.”
“Yes, you did. Congratulations, have a cookie.”
“Don’t be mean. So, is that it? Is that really all I need to satisfy this step?”
“Not exactly. While we could stop now and find you a computer that fits your current needs very well, it probably wouldn’t grow with you as well as it should. What we’ve got so far are just your basic needs, the things this computer needs to be able to do at a bare minimum to satisfy your computing needs. Now we begin the dreaming phase, where you think about all the things you might want to try doing with the computer in the future.”
“Well, I don’t really know what else I’d like to do, really.”
“Alright, let’s start with a few more questions that might help.”
“Sure.”
“OK, do you own a digital camera?”
“Oh yeah! I’ve got one of those cute little ones, and it takes great pictures! I’m always taking pictures of my friends whenever we get together. So much so, that a lot of them make fun of me for it.”
“So, would you like to be able to edit those pictures on the computer?”
“I guess so. But I know that the best way to do that is with PhotoShop, but I can’t afford to buy that, can I?”
“I wouldn’t recommend it, especially since it would probably be overkill for simple photo editing and printing. But there are plenty of alternative to PhotoShop out there, from free software widely available on the net, to products like PhotoShop Elements or Paint Shop Pro for under $100. It’s not necessary to know which product you want to buy right now, although that would help. You just need to know what you might want to do on the computer so we can get one that will be able to handle doing it.”
“I see. So you’re saying I can start with a free or cheaper version of the software I might need to do whatever it is I want to try doing, but I’ll need to make sure the computer itself can handle doing it before we buy it.”
“Exactly. Going back to the car analogy again, it’s like buying a truck with the expectation that one day you might need to haul something. Or buying something with four-wheel drive and low gears because your area gets a lot of snow during winter and you don’t want to get stuck. Or buying a minivan because you’re planning on having kids someday. None of those scenarios might ever happen while you have the car, but if they do you’ll know your car can do what you need it to do.”
“Very Nice.”

Sarah’s impersonation skills were really good and I couldn’t help but laugh at her dead-on impersonation of Borat.

“OK, so now that you understand you don’t need to spend a whole lot on the software right away, do you think you’d be interested in photo editing in the future?”
“Yeah, I think I’d really like that.”
“Great, then we’ll make sure we spec out a computer powerful enough to be useful for photo editing but still within your budget.”
“Sounds good. Anything else?”
“Do you think you’d ever want to watch movies on your computer?”
“I don’t think so. I mean, I’ve got a TV and a VCR so why would I want to use a laptop when my TV is, like, three times the size?”
“OK, no movie watching for you. How about movie editing?”
“Don’t you need a super-powerful computer for that? And doesn’t the software cost more than my entire budget? Didn’t you just say I didn’t need to up my budget? There’s no way you’re going to convince me to spend $10,000 on a computer just so you can come over and make a movie on it!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her as she began wildly waving her arms to make her point. She really looked like a crazy woman, or maybe a giant, angry chicken.

“What’s funny now?”
“Uhhhh… nothing. Look Sarah, I’m not going to try to convince you to spend more than your budget will allow. Remember, I’m the one who made you decide on the budget in the first place!”
“Yeah, well I still won’t spend more money on movie software when I don’t even know if I’ll use it.”
“Fair enough. But allow me to point out that just like photo editing software, movie editing software has changed over the last couple of years and now you can get pretty powerful editing software for under $100.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And to be honest, you can do some pretty amazing stuff with even the ‘basic’ video editing software you can find for free on the net.”
“I can?”
“Yep.”
“What else could I do?”
“Well, how about making your own music or editing music? Or playing games? Do you think you’d like to create your own websites, or do animation or 3D graphics? How about making cards or other crafty things? There’s really no limit to what the computer can help you do, you just need to know what you might, or might not, like.”
“Well, would I need a more powerful computer?”
“Absolutely.”
“Aha!”
“Aha?”
“I got you! You’re trying to make me spend more money!”
“Calm down, Sarah. I’m not trying to get you to spend more money. Your budget will easily accommodate a laptop able to handle almost everything I mentioned, even moderate video editing or light 3D animation if you’re patient. In fact, most computers sold today with mid-level hardware will handle almost anything the average user might want to do. There’s no need to up the budget, we just need to know what you want to do so we can make sure the computer will fit all your needs.”
“Really?”
“Really.”

Sarah sat back and thought about that while I sipped my hot cocoa and nibbled on my cookie. I had to say, Sarah was beginning to grasp the method behind my 5 Steps pretty quickly. Truthfully, she seemed to be starting to enjoy the process a little bit, even if she still didn’t really care about the computer itself.

“Ok then, let me see if I can speed this up a bit. I think that I would definitely like to do some photo editing, and possibly even some video editing in the future, but nothing big. And making my own cards and calendars and stuff sounds interesting, too, but I don’t know if that’s really something I’d do on a regular basis. Maybe only around holidays and birthdays, you know? And I like listening to music, but I’m not at all interested in creating my own, so I don’t need anything like music creation or editing software. I also don’t care about games, except the occasional hand of solitaire, so that’s out. Lastly, I’m definitely not interested in 3D graphics or animation. If I want to see that kind of stuff I can always rent a movie.”
“Very well said, Sarah.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re very welcome. And now that we’ve got a good idea of what your computer will need to be able to do to satisfy your needs, we can move on to outfitting your computer with the things it will need to have in order to meet those needs.”
“Does this mean we’ve finished with Step 3?”
“Yep! Now we move on to Step 4: The Inside…”

To be continued…

The 5 Steps: The Form

Or, what kind of computer do you want?

This is part 3 of an ongoing series devoted to helping people discover a better way to purchase a computer. In this series I am explaining in detail how I go about helping friends and family through the confusing process of making a computer purchase when they don’t know very much about computers, other than they need one, by pretending to have a conversation with a fictional friend named Sarah.

You can read part 1 here and part 2 here.

Sarah was once again looking at me as if I were growing a third eye. I admit that my last proclamation had been a bit dramatically obtuse but still, that was no reason for her to look at me as if I were going to suddenly start drooling on my shirt or rolling around in my own feces. I allowed myself to sigh inwardly as I waited for her inevitable question.

I didn’t have long to wait.

“What do you mean, ‘The Form’? It’s a computer GeekMan, not a piece of Play-Doh.”
“Well Sarah, when I say The Form, I’m not merely talking about it’s physical shape. I’m really talking about two distinct choices that you’ll need to make before we can find you a computer.”
“Well then, why not call it ‘The Choice’?
“Because there’s more than one choice to make and the entire process of buying a computer is a series of choices. Plus, ‘The Form’ sounds more dramatic.”
“Did you eat paint chips as a child?”
“Do you want my help or not?”
“Fine. Call it whatever you want, just tell me what it means.”

Sometimes helping people can be very, very frustrating. But it’s almost always worth it in the end. Or at least that’s what I kept repeating to myself in my head as I took a nice, long sip of my now lukewarm hot chocolate. After counting to ten, I continued my explanation.

“It may sound silly at first, but The Form is an important factor to take into account when you’re looking to buy a computer.”
“But, don’t all computers look alike?”
“Like I already told you Sarah, I’m not just talking about the physical shape of the computer. To bring back your car analogy, The Form step would refer to things such as deciding between an SUV, a compact car, A pickup truck, a sports car, or anything in between. Even though all those vehicles will get you from point A to point B, you probably wouldn’t want to buy some of them when you shop for a new car based on your own personal needs and preferences. It’s the same with computers, although I will admit that there are seemingly fewer choices to make.”
“You mean, I need to choose between buying a desktop or laptop.”
“Yes, but those aren’t your only choices.”
“There’s other choices?”
“Yes, although most people don’t think about them at first. For example, you could decide that you want one of those space saving computers that have an attached monitor but aren’t laptops. Or you could decide to get one of the new tablet computers where you use a pen-like interface instead of a keyboard. Or, maybe you’ll decide that you want a computer that looks like a home theater component, or you could even decide that all you really need is a handheld computer that doubles as a phone. There are far more choices out there than simply ‘laptop or desktop’.”
“Wow! I didn’t even think abut any of that!”
“Most people don’t until they really start looking around, and then they usually get either confused or overwhelmed and wind up buying something that they later discover wasn’t what they really wanted.”
“Well, I really don’t want to wind up paying so much for something I won’t like, so tell me what I need to do to make the right decision.”

Having finished my hot chocolate, and seeing as how Sarah had also finished hers despite her protests of hot chocolate not being a proper drink in June, I poured both her and myself another cup before continuing.

“Ok Sarah, the best thing to do is to start by deciding on the operating system you really want to use.”
“The operating system? What does that have to do with whether I buy a laptop, a desktop or something completely different?”
“Well, for some form factors, it means a lot. If you want a tablet computer then you’d almost have to use Windows. If you’re interested in a handheld computer/phone then you’re probably going to wind up with Windows, although there’s also Palm, Symbian and even Apple now. The home theater type of computers are also mostly Windows, with Apple having one lone product in the space. But for most people, they will make the choice between a desktop or a laptop, which will mean deciding between Linux, Mac OS and Windows.”
“Linux? I think I’ve heard of that, what is it?”
“Linux is an alternative operating system similar to Windows and Mac OS, but far more open to alteration by the user. However, when you first start using it, it’s not nearly as user friendly as the Mac OS, or even Windows. So, I wouldn’t recommend it to a new user like yourself unless you’d be willing to spend a long time learning how to use it. Back to the car analogy and Linux can be compared to the kit car builders, or the backyard car restorer, whereas Mac OS and Windows are more like your standard car manufacturer. It takes more skill, hard work and patience to build a car yourself than to simply walk into a dealership and buy one off the lot, but once you’re done building a kit car you’ll have something that will work exactly the way you want. It’s the same with Linux.”
“That sounds a bit too complicated for me. I just want to turn it on and be able to use the thing, without any problems. You know, like putting my key in the ignition and turning it on. I don’t need to know about spark plugs, engine torque or gear ratios to drive my car and I don’t want to have to know what’s happening behind the scenes in my computer when I click on something either.”
“And there’s no reason you should if you don’t want to.”
“Good. So, where does that leave us?”
“Basically? Windows or Mac.”
“Well, a few of my friends swear by their Macs. They say that the Mac is better than Windows and everything is easier. Plus, Macs look cool.”
“So, you want a Mac?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“Well, I really thought I wanted one, except when I looked around my office I didn’t see any Macs and I’ll need to do a lot of work on whatever computer I buy. Some people in the office use a Mac at home, but when I asked them about it they told me that sometimes stuff they do on their Macs looks different when they get to their PC in the office, so most of them decided to buy a copy of Windows and install it so they could do their work without any problems.”
“So?”
“So, to my mind, that defeats the reason for buying a Mac. I mean, if I need to buy Windows anyway, why not just buy a PC?”
“So, you want a PC?”
“But, aren’t Macs easier to use?”

At this point I leaned back in my chair and sighed. I new where this was heading and it was not a place I wanted to visit.

“Listen Sarah, I don’t want to get into a fight with you, or anyone else for that matter, about which OS is better, or cooler, or easier. Mostly because I don’t believe it’s a fight either side can win. It all comes down to the individual. The truth is that Mac OS and Windows both have their good and bad points and figuring out which one is right for you will depend entirely on your specific, individual needs.”
“But I love the look of the Mac OS.”
“Then buy a Mac.”
“But I use Windows all day, every day and I don’t want any file problems when I do work at home.”
“Then get Windows.”
“But the Mac OS looks so much better than Windows.”
“Then get a Mac. But, keep in mind that if you wanted to, you could get the same look and feel of a Mac by simply installing some software in Windows that will change it’s look to that of a Mac.”
“You can?”
“Yes, you can. Just like you can always buy Windows and install it on the Mac to do Windows stuff. But that’s not really the point.”
“Then what’s the point?”
“The point is, you need to ask yourself which operating system is best for you? Not which one is prettier, or which one other people tell you is better or cooler or more prevalent, but which one is the one you want and will help you do what you want to do?”
“But…”
“Sarah, you can run in circles about this for days. What it’s really going to come down to is one thing, and that is; which OS will be best for your specific, individual needs? Not my needs, your friends’ needs, your family’s needs or even your office needs. Your needs.”

It was Sarah’s turn to sit back and look thoughtful while sipping hot cocoa. It took a few moments, but eventually she put down the cup and let out a little sigh.

“Well, I really like the look of the Mac, but after thinking it through just now, I can’t see myself buying one only to have to spend more money later to buy Windows so I can do my actual work. Plus, I already know how to use Windows since I use it every day at work. So, I think I should get Windows.”
“OK, so you want Windows now, and not Mac OS?”
“Yeah, but I might want you to tell me about that software that makes Windows look like a Mac because I really like the look, ok?”
“Sure, but later, ok?”
“OK.”
“So, now that we know you are going to use windows, we need to decide on whether you want a laptop, a desktop, or some other form factor, like a tablet or handheld.”
“This one’s pretty easy, I’m going to be traveling every now and again so I’ll want something portable, but I also like using a real keyboard so those tablet’s and handheld computers don’t really appeal to me. So I guess that means I want a laptop, right?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“What? No long, drawn out explanations about the different types of laptops to choose from?”
“That will come later, in Step 4 when we discuss The Inside. Right now, it’s time to move on to Step 3, The Function.”

To be continued…

The 5 Steps: The Budget

Or, how much can you afford to spend?

This is part 2 of an ongoing series devoted to helping people discover a better way to purchase a computer. In this series I am explaining in detail how I go about helping friends and family through the confusing process of making a computer purchase when they don’t know very much about computers, other than they need one, by pretending to have a conversation with a fictional friend named Sarah.

You can read part 1 of this series here.

Handing Sarah a cup of hot chocolate, I sat down across from her in my living room and prepared to help her find the computer she so desperately seemed to want. Sarah blew on the hot chocolate to cool it down as she waited for me to just tell her which computer she should buy so she could go out and buy it knowing that if something went wrong she could always blame me. Poor Sarah, I thought to myself as I sipped my own cup. She’s smart, but she’s never bought a computer before and thinks I’m going to do what everyone else she’s asked for help from has done and just give her my opinion and send her on her merry way. Little does she know that I’m an information psychopath and was about to give her a full course on how to buy a computer through my patent pending (not really) 5 Step program.

Taking another sip of hot chocolate, I put my cup down and spoke.

“OK, Sarah. Let me get this straight. You’re here because you’ve been going crazy looking to buy a computer and you don’t know which one to get. You’ve been asking friends and family for advice, surfing the internet and reading magazine advertisements, but all you’ve done is get confused because the more advice you get the harder it is for you to make a decision. Right?”
“Yeah. I’ve been killing myself trying to buy a stupid computer but everyone I ask to help me has a different opinion of what I should get. My uncle, who works as a programmer for a software company, told me I should get a really powerful laptop but my mother told me I would be better off just buying a desktop on sale at WalMart. Then I asked my friend who likes to do photography stuff and she told me I should just buy a Mac, but another friend who works in the graphic department for a big company told me a PC would be better. I looked online, but there was so much information I just didn’t know where to start! Ram, video cards, CPUs, operating system wars, laptops vs. desktops… it’s all just too confusing for someone like me who doesn’t know, or care, about every little detail of a computer. Why can’t this be simple, like buying a new car?”

That made me laugh.

“Why are you laughing?”
“It’s just funny that you would say that.”
“Say what?”
“‘Why can’t this be simple like buying a car?'”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, buying a computer can be simple, as long as you approach the process the same way you would if you were buying a car.”
“I think you’ve just confused the heck out of me.”
“Alright, let me put it this way; if you were looking to buy a new car would you be willing to buy it sight unseen based solely on the recommendation of a friend?”
“Well, probably not.”
“How about buying a Ferrari because your car enthusiast uncle told you it would be great for driving to and from the grocery store?”
“That would be pretty silly.”
“What if your mother, who only used her car once a week to get to her bridge game, told you to buy a beat-up, used, gas-guzzler that would need expensive maintenance every year when you were completely reliant on the car to drive the 50 miles a day to get to work or else you couldn’t eat?”
“I wouldn’t buy such a crappy car if I really relied on it like that. I’d buy something I could depend on.”
“Exactly.”

Sarah just looked at me with a strange look on her face. It was the same look I used to get from women when I’d start talking about the improbability of tachyon beams being possible according to the laws of physics before I learned to simply keep my mouth shut.

“GeekMan, I don’t think I’m following you. What are you trying to say?”
“I’m trying to say that people tend to recommend what works for them, for their situation, and not necessarily what is best for you in your situation.”
“But, if I can’t trust what my friends and family recommend, how am I supposed to make a decision on what to buy?”
“I’m not saying you can’t trust them, I’m only trying to make sure you see your friends’ and family’s recommendations for what they truly are, and also what they are not.”
“Huh?”
“What your friends and family have done is give you recommendations based on their opinions. What they have not done is give you truly unbiased advice based on your personal needs. You should certainly listen to what your friends and family tell you about their own experiences, but you don’t need to follow their recommendations if you don’t feel it’s the right advice for you.”
“So, basically, no matter what other people tell me I should get, I still need to make up my own mind?”
“Exactly.”
“But that’s the problem! If I knew what to get I wouldn’t be asking people what I should buy! How can I possibly buy something when I have no idea what to buy?”
“Clam down, Sarah. No need to spill your hot chocolate.”

She immediately sat down and put her cup on the table careful not to spill any.

“By the way, why did you give me hot chocolate in the middle of June? I mean, really?”
“Don’t mock the hot chocolate. You can yell at me if you’d like but attacking the sweet, delicious hot chocolate is just mean.”
“You are really weird.”
“I know.”
“Fine. So now that you’ve told me that all the advice I’ve gotten so far isn’t going to help me, how will your advice be any better?”
“My hope is that my advice will be better because I won’t really be giving you a recommendation. Instead, I’m going to help you by walking you through some simple steps that will naturally lead us to the computer that’s right for you.”
“Well, that sounds more like what I was hoping for when I came here.”
“Great. There are only 5 steps that we need to go through before we’ll have a solid idea of what computer is right for you. They are as follows;

  1. The Budget
  2. The Form
  3. The Function
  4. The Inside
  5. The Process

You don’t really need to do them in any specific order, but I’ve found that doing them this way usually works best for people like you who don’t have any idea what they really want.”

This seemed to mollify her and she took one of the cookies I had on the table and began chewing it as she spoke.

“Alright, so now we need to figure out how much I can spend on this thing?”
“Correct.”
“Well, how do we figure out my budget if I don’t know how much these things should cost?”
“To answer that allow me to bring back your car buying analogy. If you wanted to buy a car, especially if you didn’t know anything about cars, wouldn’t you first try to figure out how much you could afford?”
“Yeah, but everybody knows how much cars cost!”
“Really? And how much does a new car cost?”
“Around $20,000.”
“What about budget cars?”
“They’re probably under $15,000, but most people don’t buy them because you get a lot better car for just a little bit more money.”
“But some people do buy them, right? People who need cars but can’t afford $20,000?”
“Yeah, I guess. I mean, if I just didn’t have the money to buy a more expensive car, or if I just needed to drive around town on the weekends or something, it might make sense.”
“And what about luxury cars?”
“Oh, they cost a lot more. Over $50,000 I think, but I’d never spend that much on a car.”
“Yet a lot of people own BMWs and Mercedes’, right?”
“Yeah, but those people have the money to buy those kinds of cars and I don’t.”
“So, what you’re telling me is that, for you, a new car costs around $20,000. But for someone else a new car might cost less than $15,000 or over $50,000. It just depends on their personal circumstances, right?”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, we can use that same idea here in figuring out your budget.”
“How do we do that?”

Watching her eat that cookie had made me a bit munchie myself. I leaned forward and grabbed a chocolate chip one for myself.

“We begin by examining your personal financial situation and then deciding on a reasonable budget that works for you. We don’t have to come up with a specific amount, but we should be able to find a dollar range that you’re comfortable with spending. For example, a business man might have a budget between $800 and $1,100 for a work computer. Or a poor college student who needs a computer for taking notes and doing homework might have a budget that only allows for a $700 maximum. Someone else might have saved for a year and now has a budget between $4,500 to $6,000 for the absolute best gaming machine ever made, complete with neon lights and a custom paint job.”
“I don’t need to go that far!”
“That’s fine. Whatever we decide your budget is, we need to know it before we move on to step 2 or else you’re just going to wind up right back here afterwards trying to rework your budget to fit your computer, instead of fitting the computer into your budget.”
“Well, I certainly don’t want to do that.”
“Which is why we’ll start with a budget.”
“OK.”

Sarah reached for another cookie while I got my pen and paper ready.

“So, tell me, what’s the absolute maximum amount of money you could spend on a new computer?”
“I’m no supergeek like you, so my computer doesn’t need to cost an arm and a leg. But I’m not exactly willing to go ultra-thrifty either, so I can get something a bit more expensive than the computer’s I see in the Sunday circulars for $299.”
“OK, where does that leave us?”
“In the middle, I guess. I’m pretty sure I could afford around $1,200 for this computer.”

I wrote that number down on the paper as Sarah finished off her second cookie and sipped her hot chocolate.

“So, does $1,200 include software?”
“Don’t computers come with software?”
“Most come with an operating system and some other basic programs, but if you need something like MS Office, or photo editing software, or something else like that, then most likely you’ll need to pay for it separately. And don’t forget about the protection software like antivirus and antispyware.”
“Wow. I didn’t think of all that.”
“Which is why you’re asking me for help, right?”
“Right.”
“So, including a rough allowance of $200 for software, and keeping in mind that the software costs can change depending on your personal needs, what do you think you can really afford?”

Sarah reached for another cookie as she thought that one over.

“Well, what if I only look at computers that come with all the software I think I’ll need? I’ve seen computers advertised in magazines that come with antivirus and MS Works and stuff. Couldn’t we just look at those?”
“If you really wanted to, I couldn’t stop you. But I’d like to point out that those computer ‘deals’ usually come with a whole lot more baggage than you might see at first look.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, usually the antivirus and antispyware software that comes pre-installed on those computers are only good for a short time before you’ve got to pay for them. Plus, the office software in MS Works uses slightly different file formats than the full MS Office software which, depending on your needs, might lead to problems when you try to share files. And let’s not forget that whoever’s selling those computers has to make money somehow, so they usually load up the computers with ads and ‘trial’ software that causes the computer to slowly degrade over time. Meaning it might begin running slowly, crashing, or having other, even worse, problems.”
“That doesn’t sound like such a deal.”
“It’s not. And I’m very tired of fixing those type of machines for my friends and family who don’t listen to me and buy them even though I told them not to.”

After finishing off the cookie, Sarah took another sip of cocoa before speaking.

“OK, then what about using financing instead? Why not just apply for credit from the company we decide to buy from so I can afford a more expensive computer?”
“Again, I can’t stop you, but I would really advise against doing that.”
“Why? By paying something like $50 a month I could buy a $2,000 computer. Isn’t that the smart thing to do?”
“Not really. Without going into all the math involved, those payment plans have outrageous interest rates and draconian rules that are meant to cost you, the customer, far more over the long term than it would have cost had you simply paid for it in full. Plus, by making only the monthly minimum payment, you wind up paying for a computer for a long, long time. Sometimes you pay for it even after it’s become obsolete and you’ve moved on to another, newer computer. In almost every case, you’re usually better off simply paying for the computer in full by using a current credit card and paying it in full at the next billing cycle. Even better than that would be to use cash, but that might be problematic if you’re ordering over the internet or by phone, so a credit card paid off quickly is the next best thing.”
“What if I can’t afford the computer I really, really want?”
“That’s why we’re figuring out your budget first. By knowing up front how much you can realistically afford to spend we can avoid even looking at the more expensive machines out there, which will hopefully keep you from being tempted to buy something you couldn’t afford in the first place. If you could only afford $1,000 then we won’t look at any computer that costs more than $1,000. Why tempt yourself with that ubermaxmachine that goes for $3,000 when you know you can’t buy it? That’s like going to a Porsche dealership when you know you can only afford a Mazda.”
“You know, that actually makes a whole lot of sense.”

As she reached for her fourth cookie Sarah suddenly looked up and saw I was watching her and smiling. Giving me a dirty look, as if her eating three cookies in less than two minutes were my fault, she hmphed and sat back in her chair.

“Don’t look at me like that. They’re tasty.”
“I know, that’s why I eat them. I just don’t eat them quite as fast as you.”
“Shut up.”
“Right. So, now that we’ve gone over what you need to include in your budget as a whole, what would you say your computer buying budget really is?”
“Well, now that I know I need to buy software too, I think I’ll have to up my original budget a little bit to $1,500. It’s a bit more than I thought I’d spend before I knew I’d have to buy software, but not so much that I can’t afford it.”
“Great! $1,500 it is. And now that we know what your budget is we can move on to the next step.”
“What’s the next step?”
“The next step is The Form.”

To be continued…

The 5 Step GeekMan Program For Buying A Computer

Or, how to buy something you don’t understand how to buy.

It’s a fact of my very Geeky life that I get asked by a lot of non-technical people for help purchasing a computer. Usually they begin by saying something complimentary like; “You’re a Geek so I bet you can help me get a good computer for cheap.” Or “I heard computers can make my life better, which one do you think will make me a supermodel?” Or “My brother says I need a new computer but I just bought this one 5 years ago! Can’t I just upgrade?” Sometimes they even say things like; “Keeping in mind that if the computer you tell me to buy breaks I will kill you, what should I get?”

See how nice people are to me when they want something?

Anywaste, in the interest of saving myself some time and trouble the next time someone asks me to help them buy a computer, and also to help educate those of you out there who might be looking yourselves, I thought I’d write a series of articles on what I do when I’m helping people buy a computer. I’m going to start by telling you what steps I make people go through, and then I’ll go through each step in detail to help you better understand what you’ll really need to know. Finally, I’ll give you a few examples of computer systems for different budgets and uses, including the companies and resellers I currently recommend.

First up, The Steps.

  1. The Budget – What can you afford?
  2. The Form – What form factor do you want?
  3. The Function – What do you want it to do for you?
  4. The Inside – What does it need to have to do what you want?
  5. The Process – What are your emotional needs? (risk tolerance)

These are The 5 Steps that everyone must go through if they want me to help them purchase a computer. The order in which they complete the steps isn’t really that important because each person approaches the buying process differently. However, each step is important enough that skipping even one of them is not an option. If you’re unable to complete any of these 5 Steps then you’ll probably find yourself spinning in circles, unable to find the right computer to buy and not understanding why. Taking the time to follow The Steps will make your computer purchasing experience far more pleasant and gloriously simpler than you might have suspected it ever could be.

In fact, you might even enjoy it.

The 5 Steps might sound simple to understand, and in fact they are, but I truly believe that most computer shoppers don’t know that without them they’ll never be sure they really got what they wanted. That’s because most people believe that computers are complicated devices best bought from large chain stores or well known manufacturers with as long a warranty as you can possibly afford because any other way just isn’t “safe”. In fact, I believe that the majority of computer purchasers simply walk into a store, cash in hand, and buy whatever the “knowledgeable sales staff” tells them they need. Or else they go online to one of the big manufacturers web sites and buy whatever fits their budget. And then they wonder why they hate their “crappy” computer so much, never realizing that the computer they bought isn’t bad, it’s just wrong for their needs.

This is where The 5 Steps can help.

Truth be told, The 5 Steps can be applied to almost anything you’d ever think about buying, from computers to cars to washing machines to baby strollers, and when this series is done I hope that you’ll find yourself using these Steps whenever you’re thinking of buying something. But for now, let’s stick to the matter at hand and help an imaginary friend buy her very first computer.

Let’s call her Sarah.

Sarah is in need of a computer but doesn’t know the first thing about them. After looking through computer magazines and asking her friends and family what she should buy, she’s done nothing but become more and more confused by all the options presented to her. Is she better off with a PC or a Mac? What is RAM and how much does she really need? Does she need a Pentium or AMD? Who should she buy from? How much is too much to spend? Why is it all so complicated? Finally, after weeks of going in circles she’s decided to come to me for help. After calming her down with a nice cup of hot chocolate I get out a pen and a pad of paper and begin walking her through The Steps.

Next time; Step 1 – The Budget