I was like a god, once.

Long ago and far away, in a place known as ‘Jr. High School’, I was something of a living legend. I walked the halls with an easy smile on my face and a swagger in my step that proclaimed for all who saw me that I was a somebody. I wasn’t just another student, your average bookworm with his fair share of charm and good looks. No, I was so much more than that.

I was my school’s GUY.

You know, THAT guy. The one everyone in school knew, even if just by sight. Every school has a That Guy, and in my school I was he. I was the guy all the other kids wanted to know, the dude they would clear a spot for at even the most crowded of lunch tables, the one they picked first in gym class. I was the student all the female teachers just knew would be a heartbreaker, the troublemaker the principal would always let off with a warning and a smile, the dude the other boys wanted to be.

And the boy all the cute girls whispered about in study hall.

Past ‘nice’, beyond the border of ‘cool’ and forging ahead into the realm of ‘popular’, I moved through the hallowed halls of my school like a king amongst his subjects. I was the one who everyone said hi to, whether they really knew me or not, simply to be able to brag to their friends after school that they ‘knew’ me. Like a medieval Lord touring his countryside domain, the denizens of the school would stop their daily activities as I wandered past to smile at me, touch my hands or bask in my glory in the hopes I would acknowledge their pitiful existence and thus give meaning to their otherwise horrid and worthless lives.

And with but a nod and a smile, I would make their life complete.

Walking those halls, my fellow students would part to let me pass through the crowds as if I were Moses and they the Red…

“Oooff!”

“Hey, watch where you’re going tard-breath! If you weren’t so busy staring off into space with that dumb smile on your face you wouldn’t have bumped into me like the dumbass that you are and dropped all your stupid books.”

“mumble…”

“What did you say?”

“Sorry.”

“You bet your skinny little ass you’re sorry, skidmark. Hey, what’ve you got there, nerd?”

“mumble, mumble…”

“Holy crap, I don’t believe it! Of all the new dorks here today, you must be the biggest! Hey everybody, look at the new kid! He’s got a dorky Dungeon Master’s Guide! Haha! I bet he even carries his dice in a gay felt sack tied closed with a string, the gay farthead!”

*sniffle*

“Awww, look everyone, the little D&D nerd’s going to cry! Cry dweeb-face, cry! Run home to your momma and cry! Hahahahaha!”

Sigh. I was like a god, once…