We’re Going To Pump You Up

“Hey Bub, what’s up?”

There is no answer from the sweat covered, heavily breathing, and human shaped lump on the floor. Raising his one and only eyebrow in curiosity, Bread saunters closer to what may have once been a proud human Geek, but was now only a defeated and pathetic schlump.

“Hey. Loser. Something wrong?”
[panting noises]
“Bub, you’re beginning to scare me. What the hell’s wrong with you?”
“Wheeze. Gasp.”
“Can you talk, Bub?”
[coughing fit]
“Ewwwww. What is that, a lung?”
[more wheezing]
“OK, moron. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong so either talk to me or I’m going to go play Halo and get ready for this weekends’ Ex-Boxx party.”

Slowly, ever so slowly, GeekMan’s sweat drenched face turns towards Bread. It is then that Bread notices that even though GeekMan seems to be in immense physical pain his eyes are fever bright with accomplishment. The last time Bread saw him look this way was when GeekMan had managed to open that stuck jar of peanut butter without crying for HoBiscuit to do it for him. Everyone had to live with, “Who’s the Man? That’s right, I’M the man!” for the following two weeks.

Idiot.

“Ok, you’ve managed to turn your head. That’s a good sign, I think. So tell me, what’s wrong with you?”
“Pant. Wheeze.”
“I saw your mouth move, come on, you can do it. Talk.”
“… Ahhhhh… pant… ahhhyyy… gasp…”
“Eye? There’s something wrong with your eyes?”
“… Aaaayyy… pantpantpant… duh… duh… did”
“Ok, I get it. You did something, right? Did you fall down, go boom? Did somebody have a wittle accident?”
“I… wheeze… did… pantpant… three… huffhuffhuff… puh… puh… pushups!”
“Holy Crumb! In a row?! You know your body can’t handle the shock of exercise!”

Bread jumps to the phone and begins dialing 911.

Right before the soothing darkness of unconsciousness claims him, GeekMan smiles at Bread and says, “And tomorrow, after I get out of the hospital, I’m going to do four.”

And then the darkness claims him.