I was going to be Spider-Man.
When I was a kid, I always thought it would be really, really cool to be able to swing from building to building on a thin wire while catching crooks ‘just like flies’. Somersaulting, back flipping, high kicking, twisting and turning and cracking wise; I envisioned my adult life would be just like my favorite comic book. I would be a superhero. Not just any superhero either, I would be the best superhero in the city; all the other guys would always call me trying to get a little team-up action to help boost there own popularity.
Yeah, even Batman and Wolverine.
Of course, since I was such a cool Super-Dude, I’d be nice when I turned them down and not rub my own popularity in their faces. I’d remind Batman that he already had Robin and tell Wolverine that the X-Men were his team-up friends. I wouldn’t turn them down because I thought I was too good for them or better than they were or anything stuck up or obnoxious like that. Nope, I’d turn everyone down because I’d need to keep my calendar open for the only team-up that was worth my time.
GeekMan and Wonder Woman vs. The Lust Monster!
Anywaste, as I got older I realized that becoming a superhero wasn’t a career choice in the real world and that gaining super powers would involve putting myself through far too many dangerous and painful experiments/accidents/years of training. Instead, I slowly throttled my childhood dream by gaining a newer dream more in keeping with the real world.
I would make a million dollars, fund my own private army and take over the world.
But no matter how many years have passed since my youth I’ve always remembered my dream of swinging through the city air on a thin wire while the teeming masses below looked up at me in awe. And now, thanks to my sweet, loving, understanding and all-around wonderful HoBiscuit, and some gift certificates she bought for me, I finally get to live my dream.
I’m going to Trapeze School!
Oh, he floats through the air
With the greatest of ease,
This daring young man
On the flying trapeze
Will HoBisquit be on the ground to catch you if you fall?
with great geekiness comes great humility
HoBiscuit will not be there to witness my uncoordinated attempts to be gracefull while hastily attempting to learn how to fly before hitting the ground like a potato sack full of still-barely-alive fish.
However, I will be attempting to grow the requisite handlebar moustache before my first class…
The hendlebar is a nice touch, but will you be creating your own spandex suit with Geekman logo embroidered on the chest? Oh, and you absolutely MUST have a cape. I think that goes without saying, though.
So… now we’re facing a trapeze flying GeekMan commander of the world? Sounds better, I admit.
We must have PICTURES!!!!!!! This is too good to leave unimmortalized.