The time is 3:24am. The place, GeekMan’s living room. The only light is coming from the TV which is showing a vast, computer generated battleground. Two figures sit motionless in front of the TV except for their hands, which are furiously pounding on two Ex-Boxx controller pads.
[GeekMan dies as Bread’s Shotgun blows a hole in his chest]
“Dammit.”
“Hey Bub, aren’t you tired?”
“No way, Bread. You’re not getting away that easily.”
“What are you talking about, dorkface? We’ve been playing Halo for the last nine hours and I’m getting a little tired of kicking your behind. I just figured you might want to take a break. You know, for food, or sleep maybe.”
“I’m not tired. I want to keep playing until I win.”
“How are you going to win when I keep doing this?”
[GeekMan dies as Bread tags him with a grenade]
“Dammit!”
“Give it up, Nerdboy. You’re never going to win, I’m just too good for you. You haven’t even killed me yet.”
“I did too kill you! What about game 23 when I blew you up?”
“Blew me up?!? Get real, King Loser. I shot you with the rocket launcher and after you died I accidentally shot the rock I was standing behind. Suicide doesn’t count as a kill.”
“It does too count! And the only reason I’m not doing well is this stupid controller, ok? It keeps moving.”
“It’s supposed to do that you idiot. That’s why they call it a ‘Force Feedback’ controller. It vibrates when certain things happen in the game.”
“…”
“What?”
“Heh, I know a few girls who…”
“Shut up. You’re such a pathetic Geek you probably believe you’re the first person to think of that.”
“Well, maybe I am! Did you think of that, Mr. Smartypants?”
“Nope. Are you sure you’re not hungry?”
“Why?”
“Because you’re about to eat a rocket.”
[GeekMan is blown up by Bread’s rocket launcher]
“Dammit!”
“Tell me something, Bub. Is losing hard? Because you make it look so easy.”
“Keep laughing, you bastard. Just you wait till I re-spawn.”
“That’s what, 416 kills for me and a big, tasty donut hole for you? Don’t you want to call it quits?”
“It’s just not fair! I’ve only got the stupid Needler and you found a rocket launcher. The Needler sucks!”
“That’s good, because you suck, too.”
“That’s not funny. I know! How about in the next game you get the plasma pistol and I get the rocket launcher?”
“Good lord, you really are the worst loser in the history of gaming.”
“Just because you’ve played the game more than me doesn’t mean I’m a loser! I know I can beat you, I just need some time to practice.”
“Practice? Practice?!? I’m a piece of bread you moron! I don’t even have thumbs!”
“Well maybe that’s why you’re winning. I’ve heard that having no thumbs is an advantage in Halo. All the real pro’s break their thumbs off just to have an edge during competition.”
[uncomfortable silence]
“You don’t honestly expect me to believe that, do you?”
“How else would you explain it then? I’m losing a video game to my imaginary friend!”
“I am not your friend! You take that back!”
“Imaginary antagonist then! Does that make you feel better you big, ugly, stupid poopyface?”
“No. But this will.”
[GeekMan is shot in the head by Bread’s Sniper Rifle]
“DAMMIT!”
I’d say that the stories of you & bread kill me… but it looks more like bread is doing the killing to you ;)
Halo… GeekMan has a halo above his head… that must mean he’s dead!
OMG!!! That is the funniest thing ive ever friggin read…ive got a friend who loves halo…personally i think it sucks…
got any geek porns
I’ve seen worse players, i’ve been to a guys birthday party. it was pathetic.