The Mighty Writer

Ahem.

I am both proud and horrified to announce that I am now an official Big, Stupid, Blogging Loser. I now know this to be a completely true statement because I am being published in a book. Yeah, as in paper pages and everything. And not just any book mind you, but one about web logs and Blogging entitled, “We’ve Got Blog”.

Oh, the humanity.

The book is basically a collection of Blog entries about Blogs and Blogging from Bloggerdom’s best and brightest, among which I definitely do NOT count myself. You might be asking yourself what I, a lowly, pathetic, immature, intellectually and emotionally stunted member of the online community, could possibly have to offer these shining stars the Blogging elite. Well, my fine faceless friend, I am happy to answer this excellent question.

In a word, “Nothing.”

Luckily for me, the publisher failed to notice that I am a complete and utter moron and actually used my Credo within the pages of their otherwise wonderful and intelligent tome of well written essays. I can only hope and pray that they don’t realize their mistake and remove my chapter (#19) before sending the book out to the stores. If anyone out there, aside from my mother, wishes to purchase this great and powerful archive of knowledge, you should take some anti-depressants immediately and go lie down.

There are far less painful ways to commit suicide.

If, after all of these warnings, you still want to purchase the book then all I can say is “Bless you.” I would wish you a long life and prosperity, but you’re obviously psychologically unstable and will most likely wind up selling all your worldly possessions and moving to Sri Lanka to become a used llama salesperson.

Ew. Now that’s just sad.

[looks left]

[looks right]

Is anyone still reading this?

Anyone?

No?

Good.

Hot DAY-UHM! I’ve been published!