I’ve been away for quite a while, haven’t I?
Since I’ve been gone a whole lot has happened to me that I would love to be able to write about, but unfortunately all of it is work-centric and I won’t be able to say anything about it. No, no don’t cry. I’m sure that I’ll come up with something to say.
Ah, urmmm…
[twiddling thumbs]
Uhhhhhh…
[whistling]
Come on brain, think.
[nervous sweating]
Oh wait, I know! How about something only I’ll think is funny? Hot DAY-um! That sounds like a great idea. I think I’ll make up some sort of list that will pathetically and non-humorously summarize the last three months of my life without mentioning any particulars about what I’ve been doing. Impossible, you say? Ha! I’ll take that as a personal challenge, llama-lips! So, let’s get it on!
In no particular order, here are The Top Ten Signs You Might Be An Overworked Freelancer.
You wake up in the morning thinking, “Where am I, and am I late for where I’m supposed to be?”
Benefits, bonus, direct deposit, weekend, 9-5 and paid vacation are terms that are foreign to your vocabulary.
You know the fastest route to baggage claim in every major airport in the U.S.
Your accountant doesn’t blink an eye when you claim your Spongebob Squarepants DVDs as a business expense.
The words ‘Per Diem’ make your nipples hard.
Flight attendants on all the major carriers know you by your first name. On sight.
You don’t understand why it’s wrong to call your friends and family at 2:30 in the morning on a Sunday. Aren’t they working too?
You have no sympathy for people who claim that working from 9am to 7pm is a ‘long, hard day’. To you that’s a standard 10 hour day, so what’s the big deal?
You believe time zones and jet lag are for tourists.
You can commute to your office in your underwear and the only one who’ll see you is the family pet. And no one can hear it laugh at you.
And a bonus 11th Sign You Might Be An Overworked Freelancer…
You think this list is funny because it’s true.
Never has freelancing sounded so sexy. Wait, maybe it’s not the freelancing, maybe I’m just a little overexcited about your return.
Eep. Hang in there, Geek Boy. You just have to hang in there another… what? 30 years before you can retire? Oh, that’s right, only 28, and then and only then because you drop dead from overworking yourself.
Teasing. Glad you’re having grand adventures, at least.
Who says unemployment is on the rise? Seems they’ll just let any ‘ol body work.
Welcome back. I’ll bet you have enough “hotel shampoo” to open your own outlet.
im glad you are back, because your posts are hillarious. i wish i could get out of the standard world. that nine to five crap sucks for an insomniac. going to bed is for suckers!
is the Bread coming back?