Painful Procrastination

It’s going to be one of those days.

I’m getting ready to go to my sadistic dentist’s office so Dr. D. Kay can rip out two of my wisdom teeth. I’m sure it’ll be fun (for him) and extremely painful for me, but maybe I can keep the teeth and turn them into miniature dice or something.

Come on seven! Papa needs some new dentures!

I don’t expect to be able to eat for the next couple of days and I’ve been practicing my moans of pain and despair, so if you happen to be walking by my apartment this week be sure to clap to show your appreciation of my pain.

Monetary donations are also welcome.

The wedding I went to this weekend was both beautiful and sweet. It was so nice in fact, that even I was smiling at the end of the ceremony. Now, it may have been an evil smile of impending doom, but it was a smile nonetheless.

That poor boy doesn’t know what he’s gotten himself into.

The reception was a lot of fun and even though I was roped into being the emcee by the bride and groom, I managed to pay them back by making them play some of those humiliating wedding games we all know and love. Games like “Guess Your Bride”, “Which Butt Is The Grooms’?” and “Eat The Cherries”. We all had a good laugh poking fun at the newlyweds.

I barely noticed the threats they made to my life.

Starting tomorrow I’ll be posting my horrible High School Prom story and by Saturday the pictures and commentary of my Scotland trip should be ready. I hope something I do will be funny soon. It’s pretty depressing having a life and being so busy that I can’t even stop and tell the world about it. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with the Master of Pain.

Pray for me.