Overheard

• by GeekMan • In Announcements •   7

I heard this last night in the hotel lobby.

Man 1: “… her out.”
Man 2: “Really?”
Woman: “I can’t believe it!”
Man 1: “Yeah, I don’t know who’s going to replace her, but I guess someone finally realized she couldn’t handle the work.”
Woman: “Or maybe she just pissed someone off…”
Man 2: “Was there anyone she didn’t piss off?”
[laughter]
Man 3: “What’s so funny?”
Woman: “Did you hear about Linda?”
Man 3: “Linda? My boss, Linda?”
Man 1: “Yeah, they fired her today back at the office. Escorted her from the building and everything.”
Man 3: “Really?!”
Man 2: “Really.”
Man 3: “Is this a joke?”
Woman: “No. She’s really gone. According to what we know she wasn’t even allowed to download anything from her computer.”
Man 3: “Holy crap.”
Man 1: “Who are you calling?”
Man 3: “Linda.”
Woman: “Why?”
Man 3: “Hold on a sec. Hey, Linda it’s James. Did you just get fired? Really? Wow. No, no. I just wish someone had told me earlier so I could throw a “Ding-Dong the Bitch is Gone” party. Have a nice life. Buh-bye.”
[GeekMan spits his ice water out of his nose]

I guess Linda really wasn’t a very nice person.

On the Road Again

• by GeekMan • In Announcements, Traveling •   2

Yep, time to get my sorry buttocks to the airport.

I’m headed to San Diego today for work… again. Sigh, I never thought I’d ever think of traveling as boring, but man I am so bored of packing/unpacking, airports, airplanes and hotels. I just want to stay home and play with my daughter and dog, is that really so much to ask for?

[cracking thunder of doom]

Huh, I guess that means, “Yes.”

Router Wood?

• by GeekMan • In Breaking News •   2

I never imagined this day would ever arrive.

Who would have ever thought the humble network router would actually become “sexy”? I can’t remember ever sitting around dreaming up ways to improve my router to make it better, sleeker or sexier. While it’s true that on occasion I’ve railed against slow routers, or routers with connection problems, I don’t think I’ve ever waxed poetic over their aesthetics or bells and whistles. Mostly because in the past routers have been nothing more than little boxes with lights that you plug your computers and modems into so you can get online.

But that’s all changed now.

Because now I have seen the D-Link Xtreme N DIR-685 and my nipples have exploded with pleasure. It has everything I ever wanted (and never knew I wanted) in a router including a built in harddrive option and an LCD screen! I could BitTorrent without leaving my computer on all night! I could use the LCD to see the weather, or a news ticker or even to display a photo slideshow like a digital photo frame right on the router itself! And the best part is I wouldn’t have to hide it in the closet because it actually looks “cool”. If I weren’t so cautious due to my past hatred of D-Link routers I’d be all over this.

Oh D-Link, please redeem yourself to me and make this puppy awesome!

Crazy Thought of the Day #328,502,153,415

• by GeekMan • In Labracollie, Quickie •   1

Just a random thought.

Do dogs think elevators are magic transporters? I mean, from their perspective you walk into a tiny, metal room and a few moments later you leave that room and you’re miraculously somewhere else! They have no real concept of mechanisms, machinery or vertical movement brought about by pressing a button. I imagine if we could see their thought bubbles they’d go a little something like this;

“Holy crap, it’s the magic room! I don’t wanna die!”
“Please, don’t let us get vaporized this time Master, I just need to go potty!”
“Master doesn’t look scared, maybe there’s nothing to worry…”
“OMG! We’re stopping! But it’s too soon! What’s going on?!”
“Who are these people? Where are we? Should I get out? Should I stay?”
“Maybe I’ll just cower in the corner and quietly pee on myself…”

Dogs are so awesome.

Writing Right

• by GeekMan • In Geek Life •   3

So, now that I’m back I’ve got to… you know, write.

Unfortunately, with everything that’s been going on in my life during the last half of 2008, I just don’t know how to write it all down properly. However, in the spirit of making sure I actually do write more often, I’m just going to start and then stop when I feel I’ve said all I needed to say, whether or not it all comes out the way I wanted it to once it’s up here for all to see.

Step one; Write it.

I’ve worked like a madman for the last half of 2008, even in the midst of this horrible economy, and did a whole lot of travel. Which is great for me financially, but absolutely devastating to my social and family life. I barely got to see my loved ones and didn’t see any of my friends at all until the middle of November. Of course, it wasn’t due to Thanksgiving that I saw my friends, no. The only reason I saw them was because my stepfather died and they all came to pay their respects and support me and my family during our time of need.

Wow, what a downer that was.

In happier news, you probably already know we got a puppy, but what you don’t know is that the lovely HoBiscuit is once again pregnant. Yeah, you read that right, she’s got another bun in the oven. And let me tell you, we couldn’t be happier. The Mighty Baby and the Awesome Dog will have a little brother or sister sometime this June and both HoBiscuit and I are thrilled even as we dread the coming lack of sleep for us, hair-trigger temper tantrums and unavoidable jealousy from The Mighty Baby and The Awesome Dog.

So, a little good news / bad news for you.

I think that’s all for today. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sit down with my beautiful wife and watch some silly movie on our home theater while our child and dog are asleep. We don’t have very many quiet nights left to us that we can let this one get away. And of course, as I wrote that last line, The Mighty Baby woke up and started to cry.

Life truly, truly hates me.

The Magnet

• by GeekMan • In Geek Life, Labracollie •   2

Talk about coming out of the woodwork.

I never really noticed it before, but people with dogs tend to meet new and exciting people every time they take their dog out for a walk. Especially when the dog in question is a puppy. Especiallier when it’s a man walking a cute puppy. I swear, if I had realized just what a girl-magnet a cute puppy was I would have gotten a new puppy every six months when I was in college. I can’t seem to walk five feet without being accosted by some good-looking young lady or three cooing and ooo-ing over Trixie and asking me if they can pet her. Then they ask her name. Then MY name. And if I were a single man I bet I could get at LEAST two dates a DAY just by walking my dog. It’s fricking amazing.

Seriously, where the heck were all these cuties when I was single?!

Pooped Pup Poopey

• by GeekMan • In Labracollie •   2

Trixie is making me tired.

It’s 12:30am Wednesday morning and I can’t go to bed because Super-Pup is too busy playing to get into her cate and go to sleep. Which means I can’t go to sleep. Which means I’m awake to write this post informing all of you that I’m awake.

Awake, and grouchy.

I’m so tired I can’t even begin to explain it all except in vague, unhelpful terms. Terms like bone weary, utterly exhausted and zombie-like state all fail to adequately describe to you, dear minion(s), how empty my tank is. If I could, I’d go back in time four days and slap myself silly for even considering adopting a puppy when there was so many other things going on in my life that I was already unable to get more than four hours of sleep a night. Of course, after beating myself up I’d STILL demand that I get the puppy because she’s soooo worth it, but still. If she were any more of a pain in the… Awwww, she just gave me the tilted head, puppy eyed look!

[icy heart melting]

Oh well, at least we’ve already made some progress on the housetraining front. Today she peed and pooped outside three times… on purpose! Of course she peed and pooped INside six times, but I still consider today a big win. Especially when you consider she’s only 3 months old and is scared poopless (literally) of walking down the street. In fact, once she’s house trained I think she’ll be a champion bladder controller, because she took a two hour nap, ate a full meal AND I walked her for 45 minutes but she still managed to hold it in until 30 seconds after walking in the front door.

And people wonder why I named her “Tricksy.”

Who Let The Dogs Out?

• by GeekMan • In Announcements, Family, Geek Life •   0

I must be a masochist.

I say that because even though I have a 1 year old little girl, a job that requires frequent and extended travel away from home, a portfolio that has been soundly trashed by the crashing markets AND a loving wife who has never in her life had a pet of any kind, we decided to adopt a dog. And not just any dog, no. THAT would be far too easy. So of course we had to adopt the cutest dog we could find at the shelter that just happened to be a mix of Labrador Retriever and Border Collie, which shall henceforth be known as a “Labracollie”.

I liked it better than Border Retriever.

For those who may not know, Border Collies are fricking SMART. And active. Very, very active. And Labs are also pretty active and need constant attention. Add into this mix that Trixie (yeah, yeah, yeah) is only about 3 months old and completely NOT housetrained and you can probably understand why I’m so scattered right now. I’ll post pics as soon as I can, but suffice it to say that both Trixie and The Mighty Baby get along pretty great so far and Trixie is fast becoming a great addition to the family.

Even with all the poop and pee. Ew.