Mind Over Matters

So, America has spoken.

Democrats ‘lost’, Republicans ‘won’, and the psycho wing-nuts on both sides of the fence are still absolutely positive that they’re ‘right’ and the other guys are ‘wrong’ and they’ll most likely never, ever stop their vitriolic diatribes against each other. Even so, for most of the rest of America, there is acceptance of the outcome of this election. Sometimes reluctant it’s true, but acceptance nevertheless.

This time around the numbers do not lie.

The barely hidden undertow of resentment for the electoral process itself that has so fouled the emotions and minds of the people of America for the last four years should now be put to rest. Americans should once again have faith in the electoral process even if they don’t care for the candidates who might be running for office because this election once again proves that the democratic process works. And while Democrats have every right to be saddened by their defeat, they should not be angry at the electoral process itself, only at this particular outcome. This defeat, and their anger, should galvanize them to re-evaluate what their party stands for so they will be ready for the next election. Because no matter how despondent and bitter they might feel right now, they must remember that 51% of America, and more importantly more than enough of the Electoral College, wanted this outcome.

And in a democracy the majority rules.

At this point you may be wondering who I voted for, which candidate my brains and beliefs led me to cast my precious, vastly important ballot for, and I will tell you. After researching for months each candidates ideas, ideals and plans for the future, I found myself unable to vote for either of them. On one side there was no real plan for the future beyond vague rhetoric and hopeful dreams, and on the other side there was an ideological plan for the future that I could not see myself ever agreeing with. So, on November 2, 2004 I did what I now believe almost half of the voting public of America did, and I voted for neither candidate.

And cast my ballot for John Kerry.

Now, before you all light my butt on fire with your flaming emails of hate and burn my eyes out with your acidic and vitriolic comments, let me first say a few words. I am not a member of ANY political party, and over my lifetime I have in fact voted for both parties to serve in a multitude of public offices. I do not belong to ANY religious group or faction, not even the Atheists, but I respect almost all religions and have read (yes actually read) many religious texts including the Bible (Christian, Catholic and Mormon), Torah, Teachings of Buddha, several Zen texts and some of the Koran. Also, I have never, nor will I ever, vote a certain way just because some people I consider to be friends are voting that way. I’m an individual who tries to use my brains to discern who is best for the job regardless, and sometimes in spite of, their political and religious ties. Also, my opinions are MINE not yours, so if you don’t like them (quoting Gollum) go away and never come back.

So now you’re wondering why.

It’s a fine distinction I spoke of above, voting against Bush by voting with Kerry, a subtle twist of definition that I believe most of America will slowly come to understand over the next few months. You see, instead of voting for someone who I could believe in and stand behind with confidence, I was forced to vote against someone else. And that is simply not the way I ever thought I would ever us my all-important vote. It is my current belief that should you take an equal sampling of people who voted for each candidate and ask them why they voted the way they did, you would find that most of those who voted for Bush believed in something about him and/or his policies, but that almost ALL of those who voted for Kerry, including myself, merely wanted to remove Bush from office.

Precious few who voted for Kerry truly knew what he stood for.

Looking back today I can honestly say that I’m sad that the results turned out the way they did, but strangely I’m also glad. I’m sad because a man I do not agree with or respect is holding an office I feel he should not hold. However, I’m glad to once again feel that I can have confidence in the system that placed him there. I’m sad because I believe that this administration relies much too heavily on governing through fear and the growing insecurities of the general public in order to pass foreign policies that are slowly degrading America’s world leader status militarily, economically and politically. I am also very saddened by what I see as this administration’s increasingly invasive and heavy handed approach to homeland security and personal privacy that I believe is slowly but surely stripping away the freedoms we all hold so dear.

And I’m absolutely despondent at the sorry state of affairs our economy is in.

But I’m also kind of glad that he’s still in office, because I believe that Bush will be watched very closely for the next four years by both sides, and I’m hopeful that he’ll be held accountable for whatever policies he might enact. There can be no more finger-pointing or I-told-you-so’s, by either side. No more evasive answers and half-truths backed by lies. He’s won a second term fair and square and all of his campaign promises from both 2000 and 2004 need to be fulfilled or the very people who believed in him will probably be the first in line to pull him down. I hope he does reach across the aisle and find a common ground where both Democrats and Republicans can meet. I hope with all that I am that this term he becomes a uniter instead of the polar divider he has been in the past. I hope and pray that four years from now MORE than 51% of America is happy.

And deep in my soul, I really hope that I’m one of them.

I hope that we will be better off in four years than we are today. I truly do. I hope with all that I am that there will be no more lapses in the intelligence gathering community that would lead to another questionable war that would further divide this country. I hope we find Osama and that we destroy all of Al Qaeda and any other terrorist group that may threaten America, today or tomorrow. I hope that the democratic processes that are being instituted in Iraq and Afghanistan work and they become a bastion of truly democratic governments in the Middle East that will help spread freedom far and wide. I hope that our economy recovers, jobs are restored and a time of great prosperity for all of America begins today.

But, based on the past four years, and the entire history of second term presidents, please forgive me for being skeptical.

I’m not usually this serious, but today I feel the need. Again, I don’t belong to any political party, I’m just an American. And as an American I feel that the Democratic Party let me down by attempting to prop up a weak candidate on the premise that he wasn’t Bush. I honestly believe that Kerry did far better than he would have had he been running against ANYONE other than Bush. Reading through his ‘plan’ on his website and after watching all three debates, I feel that Kerry had nothing to offer the American public other than the fact that he wasn’t Bush. And even though that is exactly the reason why I voted for Kerry, it is clear to me and I hope everyone now that that was not nearly enough.

And I’m glad because I don’t believe it should ever be.

For the Democrats, this is a harsh blow and a reality check. There are a lot of people out there in America who are questioning their Party affiliation today. The Democratic Party needs to reevaluate its entire platform now, starting today, or there might be hell to pay later on down the road. They should look into the polling numbers and redefine who they want their constituents to be based on who voted for them and why. Now is the time to start surveying the public and find out what it is that most of America truly wants from the Democratic Party of the future. I’m sure that many Democrats both young and old feel betrayed by their Party, let down by a group they had poured their hearts out to support. The Democratic Party needs to find out exactly why their people feel so betrayed and how the damage can be repaired. Democrats need to start defining their new leaders now and prepare a better, more cohesive and comprehensible platform upon which to rebuild their Party for 2008.

And I do mean rebuild.

They should begin with the whole issue of ‘morality’; define it for the Democratic Party so people will understand EXACTLY where they stand and why. Because if they don’t, if the Democratic Party simply sits and sulks without making any truly fundamental changes, then I do not believe it will stand a chance in four years.

I actually believe that if it doesn’t change, it will not continue to exist.

These are just a few of my thoughts on this election. I probably won’t talk politics here again until the next election, but since this was an important issue to me I thought it was important to at least TRY to spell out my thoughts here where everyone could read them. These are by no means my only thoughts or opinions on this subject, but the reason I rarely express them here is because I don’t believe my opinions on politics (or religion) to be any more or less valid than yours. I won’t ever try to change your beliefs because they are YOUR beliefs, and you will never be able to change mine. So, please remember that these are opinions, MY opinions expressed on MY website, and whether you agree or disagree with them really won’t matter to me at all.

You have your own mind, use it.

Long Day

I’m tired.

It’s been a long night of Election TV and even though I tried to post my thoughts on the whole process earlier today, I wasn’t able to do so because the internet was all ferklempt and I couldn’t seem to log on to this site. So, for right now I’m simply going to say that America has a new president and I’ve got something to say about it, but I won’t be saying it until tomorrow when I can gather my thoughts into a more cohesive post.

In the meantime, who’s up for a rousing game of Joggle?

Kvetching Up

It’s been a tough weekend.

On Thursday GeekHaus suffered a blow that would have brought other, less adaptable, households to their knees. And although the forces of evil did their worst, we did not falter in our efforts to thwart their attack and continue our sworn mission to bring Geekiness to all the peoples of the world. So when, on a day that shall be forever known as Dark Thursday, the army of Chaos caused us to lose that which we so desperately loved, our cable modem, we did what every Geek family has done since the beginning of recorded time.

We complained. Loudly.

And so it came to pass that on Tuesday, a day that shall forever after be known as Victoria (because it sounds nice and makes us feel all funny inside), order was restored to the world in the form of a working cable modem in the GeekHaus. And there was great rejoicing.

And now for something completely different.

Today in America is Election Day. If you’re American and you have not yet voted then stop reading this, get off your butt and get out there and vote! I don’t really care who you vote for, just do you duty and vote for someone. Hell, if you don’t like anybody on the tickets write in someone you do like. John Stewart, Pete Rose, Woody Woodpecker… anybody, because if you don’t vote then you have absolutely NO FRICKING RIGHT to ever complain about, give praise to, or be proud/despondent about the people in office.

And now it’s time for Election Day TV and Whoppers.

Sleep Deprivation Stupidity

It’s 2am and I’m doing my laundry.

A’yep, (spit) I’m one hot-to-trot, sexy, stud-muffin of a Geek, ain’t I? Folding my unmentionables while most of the rest o’ the world is all tuckered out and asleep in their jammies. Oh yeah, I can tell all’s yawl want me. I just know all you ladies are licking your monitors right now, wishing it were an ice-cold Geeksicle made from 100% GeekMan juice, but it ain’t! It’s just a monitor and you’ll all just have to suffer without me ‘cause I’m busy doing MAN’S work, folding these here blue jeans and pairing up these foot condoms so’s I don’t wind up putting on two lefties and making my poor right foot feel all outta-whack all’s the day long. That’s why I can’t spare no time today for the likes o’ you sex-hungered, Geek worshipping, ladies of leisure, no-how.

But I sure wish I could! Yee-HA!

Oy, my life is so fricking sad…

Bad Medicine

It was the perfect medicine cabinet.

At least that’s what we thought when we first saw it hanging on the wall of one of Ikea’s lovely little ‘home’ displays. HoBiscuit and I were immediately taken in by its clean lines, faux wood finish and solid hinges. It also didn’t hurt that we were tired and frustrated after a full day of shopping with absolutely nothing to show for it. So, when we came upon this lovely medicine cabinet that appeared to have been specially made just for us, we didn’t even hesitate to put our money down and take it home.

And that’s when the trouble began.

You see, unlike almost any other piece of Ikea furniture I’ve ever bought, this particular piece needed to be hung on the wall. And when I say hung on the wall, I mean hung straight on the wall using a tool called a ‘level’ and everything. I couldn’t just drill a couple of holes and hang the medicine cabinet willy-nilly because then our medicines, cotton balls and razors might have fallen out of the cabinet, spilled onto the floor and gotten all dirty.

And no one wants dirty cotton balls. It’s unnatural.

So, in accordance with Ikea’s Holy Instructional Pamphlet, I assembled the core structure of the medicine cabinet and then prepared to hang it on the wall. Medicine cabinet? Check. Mounting screws? Check. Electric drill? Check. Level? Check. Someone to hold the cabinet steady while someone else levels and mounts it to the wall?

Oh crap.

I glanced over to where I had last seen HoBiscuit. Looking at me with puppy eyes filled with hope, she was waiting patiently outside the bathroom, all aquiver with anticipation. She had even resorted to putting on an adorable little tool belt to help complete the look of Eager Helper. I knew this would be trouble, but what could I do? Ikea’s Holy Instructional Pamphlet had a drawing on it of not one, but TWO people mounting the medicine cabinet to the wall, and who was I to argue with such a learned institution of authority as Ikea?

Even so, I almost asked her to go get a neighbor. Almost.

Sighing mightily, I gave her the nod and hefted the cabinet to its place on the bathroom wall. As I held it there, HoBiscuit got the level and placed it on top of the cabinet inflicting only minor scratches on the ceiling in the process. When we had repositioned the cabinet so that it was level I asked HoBiscuit to please mark the drill points on the wall by drawing an ‘X’ where the holes for the screws in the back of the cabinet were. They were fairly large holes; able to fit a pencil with plenty of room to spare, and I thought drawing an ‘X’ on the wall was a fairly simple artistic task to ask my lovely wife to do.

Unfortunately, my wife went to business school.

After several attempts, and about 10 minutes of watching her actually bite her tongue in concentration while attempting to draw a fricking ‘X’ on the wall, we had the following discussion, which I will hold against her for the rest of our lives.

“Honey?”
“Mmm-hmm?”
“Is there something wrong?”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure, because it seems to me that it’s taking you an awfully long time to draw an ‘X’.”
“Don’t start with me. This is harder than it looks, you know.”
“…”
“Don’t look at me like that or I’ll smack you.”
“Do you know what an ‘X’ is? I can draw one for you if you need a primer.”
“Shut up.”
“…”
“OK, you know what? I think I figured out the problem.”
“OK, and what’s the problem Sherlock?”
“It’s the pencil! The pencil isn’t working right and that’s the problem. I can’t draw an ‘X’ with this pencil.”
“…”
“What?”
“Did you just blame a pencil because you couldn’t draw an ‘X’ on the wall?!
“Uhmmm… maybe?”
“Holy crap, I married myself with breasts.”

Paper Money

“I don’t think this is a good idea, GeekMan.”
“Don’t worry about it, Princess. We’re standing in the middle of SOHO on a sunny afternoon and we’re surrounded by people doing their weekend shopping. What do you think this guy going to do to us that’s so horrible? Fart loudly?”

With that I turned away from my doubting cousin and back towards the upstanding young man who had asked us a question. It was a beautiful, sunny summer’s day in 1993 and I was flush with cash from my first paycheck at my new job. My cousin Princess and I had decided to celebrate by going shopping for some much needed new clothing and accessories. She was looking for a new watch and I was looking for a new coat.

I know it was summer, but everyone knows you get the best deals off-season.
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Emasculation Proclamation

I lost my nads yesterday.

Well, that’s not exactly true. You see, I didn’t actually lose my nads in the sense that I misplaced my keys or an umbrella. I lost them in the sense that they were forcibly ripped from my body and tossed into a corner as callously and casually as some people might core an apple.

And the person who did it never even laid a finger on me.

I’m a good guy, well… I’m a nice person, and when my lovely wife asks me to go somewhere with her and meet some of her work friends for dinner I’m only too happy to oblige. Not only because she’s my wife, but also because going to dinner with her would mean I’ll be seen in public with her thus proving to the doubters of the world that I really am married to The World’s Most Beautiful Woman™.

And you’re not. Neener, neener, neener.

Anywaste, there I was in a nice Polo shirt and jeans waiting for her to get ready so we could go meet her friends when she stops putting on her lip gloss/eye liner/other beauty enhancing product and gives me the evil eye. Since I hadn’t said anything in the last twenty minutes that would warrant such a look of disdain, I quickly reviewed all transgressions and/or slights that I might have intentionally or unintentionally bestowed upon her in the last week. Coming up empty, I spent another full second fruitlessly reviewing anything she might have imagined or even dreamed that I had done to piss her off in the last month.

You know, just to be safe.

Once again coming up with nothing, I thought it was safe to give her an inquisitive look of bemused clueless-ness and inquire as to why I was getting the Pursed Lips Of Feminine Disapproval™. Now pay attention men, because it is here, right here, that I lost my masculinity and I’m writing this incident down so that I will never, ever forget exactly when and how my nads were removed and I became the complete and total P-Whipped GirlyMan I am today. You see, when I asked HoBiscuit why she was looking at me with such disapproval she gave me the once over and said, said mind you, not asked, “You’re not going to wear THAT, are you?”

And so help me, without even a thought of protest, I changed my clothes!

Love/Hate Relationship #7

I have TV! I love TV! I hate TV!

Oh, sweet Television, how I have missed you so. Day’s, weeks and yes, even months have passed since the last time I was able to bask in the glow of your illuminating presence. I know you felt neglected, covered by that thin plastic condom and shoved in a corner for lo, these last two months, un-watched and unloved. You waited patiently for me to return to you, knowing full well that I would weaken and find some lame excuse to put down my books, step away from my computer and come back to you.

You irresistible, horrible, wonderful Television, you.

14 hours I spent in front of you yesterday, 14 hours of blissful ignorance and brain-sapping stupidity as you made my eyes glaze over and my brain stop functioning. 14 hours of watching horrible movies that I would normally go to great lengths to avoid, movies like Spy Kids 3, Bad Boys 2 and the ultimate death-knell for all rational thought; Underworld.

Thank the heavens that Battlefield Earth wasn’t on or I might have died.

Normally, movies like those would cause me to gouge out my own eyes with chopsticks and cauterize the wounds with mixture of sea salt & battery acid, but I was weak from lack of exposure and for 14 hours you held me captive, unable to look away from your mesmerizing light. You have stolen 14 hours of my life and not only am I so enthralled by you that I don’t mind the loss, but I cannot wait to return to your embrace tonight and give you more.

Oh beautiful Television, I love to hate you ever so much!