One Ring To Rule

We bought our rings this weekend.

I know there’s nothing too exciting, or even humorous, about buying wedding bands, especially when your mind simply shuts down after hearing how much they’re going to cost. Nothing funny happened while we were in the store or speaking to the salesperson. We weren’t even witnesses to any public forms of hilarity or embarrassing moments by other shoppers or motorists as we traveled to and from Lou E. Smiley’s Ring Barn Emporium.

Truly, it was a boring day.

However, after we returned home with HoBiscuit’s ring (mine will take two weeks to finish) I went to the kitchen to get myself a drink. Calling out to HoBiscuit, who was in the back room and thus as far from me as possible in our apartment, I asked her what she might want to drink but I received no answer. Curious as to her sudden silence I quietly tip-toed to the back to see what she was up to that could keep her so quiet.

And when I peek into the room what do I discover?

I’ll tell you what I saw. I saw HoBiscuit sitting in my very brightly lit office, in my chair and at my desk with her hand directly under my super-bright graphics-professional-grade desk lamp. She was turning her hand this way and that to set off the sparkly diamond chips in her wedding band and muttering something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like;

“My Precious. We have him right where we wants him, don’t we my Precious? So pretty. So sparkly. So… Preciousssss…”

I’m man enough to admit that I got so scared I nearly wet myself. Truth be told, immediately afterwards I snuck away to the bedroom because I needed to change my underwear. Anyone out there think it’s too late for me to run?

Dammit, I thought so.