Olde School TMG Rap

Sung to “Paul Revere” by Beastie Boys

Now here’s a little story – I’ve got to tell
About three bad psyches – you know so well
It started way back in history
With Ex-Boxx, Crusty Bread, and me – M. G.!
I had a little Bloggie called The Mighty Geek
Just me and my Bloggie and my jokes so weak
Writing stuff so sad – Killing my fans
As they left my site in droves cause I sucked so bad

One lonely psyche I be
All by myself without nobody
A Geek sitting down on my ass so fat
My head was getting hot – my jokes were going flat
Making a sandwich – I ran into a guy
His name was Crusty Bread, I said, ‘Hello.’ – He said, ‘Die.’

He told a little story – that sounded well rehearsed
Four days in the fridge and that he’s dying for mirth
A fork was in his hand – and pointed at my neck
With angry voice and reddened eye – he stabbed my intellect
He said, ‘Can you write some?’
I said, ‘I can’t write none!’
Had a chance to run
He stabbed me in my bum
Quick with the pain – I thought I was dead
He put the fork to my head and this is what he said,

‘Now my name is Crusty Bread – I’ve got a cure for your plight
I think you know what time it is – it’s time to joke write
Now what do we have here – a GeekMan and his fear?
I run this brain, you’re dumb and lame – I make myself clear?’
We stepped up to the screen – I had to cry, he had a grin
You think this story’s over but it’s ready to begin

‘Now I got the fork – your time is through
You got two choices of what you can do
It’s not a tough decision as you can see
I can stab you to death or you can write with me.’
I said, ‘I’ll write with you if you can make me more funny
The jokes I write now make me sound like a dummy
I write about this – I write about that
I write about it all and it’s crap
So… I’m out of fun – my readers have run
Right about now – I fear my site is done
And The Mighty Geek – that is my name
And I know my mind’s shattered and I’m going insane.’

We wrote for six hours then we hit the Box
The guns were blazing and the missiles were hot
The Box was sexy like a girl at eighteen
My brain took notice and created the scene
Crusty Bread said, ‘Yo Bub, you know this chick?’
I said I didn’t, but I know he did!
The chick said, ‘Get ready ‘cause this ain’t funny
My name’s Ex-Boxx and I’m the GeekMan’s honey.’
Pulled out the Halo – held it to the sky
She yelled, ‘Halo Rocks!’ – As I just sighed
She stood up and my jaw hit the floor
She wasted no time in giving me more
‘I’m Ex-Boxx and I get respect
Your love and adoration is what I expect.’
Crusty Bread was with it and he’s my ace
So I grabbed the computer keyboard and I wrote her into place
The funny story’s out – the lameness stopped
Your fav’s are weak – if I get dropped
Ex-Boxx for the sexy – Crusty Bread for the bold
I’m for all Geekies – now the story’s told