Round One
Turn a Mac Classic II into a backyard birdhouse using only the following materials:
- Wood glue
- Shiny pink sequins
- Balsa wood
- One soft rag or paper towels (one roll)
- Acrylic paint (1 gallon)
- Plaster of Paris
- 10 reams of shredded legal documents
- 5 square yards of blue chiffon material
- 3lbs of sea shells
The judges for this round will be Christopher Lowell, Dean Johnson and Amy Wynn Pastor. Contestants will need to verbally explain each step in the process while doing a seductive striptease to Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s classic, “Baby Got Back”. Scores will be based on functionality, style, artistic merit and how long it takes the judges to regain their eyesight.
Round Two
Refurbish four Late Georgian Mahogany dining chairs (in Hepplewhite style with shield back and tapering front legs) in under six hours and for less than $500. They can use any materials found at a local Home Depot to complete the restoration, but final product must be historically accurate. Contestants must also be prepared to answer questions about their investment strategies for a down market and their true sexual orientation.
Round Three
A Deathmatch. After 5 days of forced starvation, the contestants are locked in a pit together and are given nothing but a MINIMITE® Cordless Tool from Dremel with which to fight. Hidden cameras will capture the ensuing fight and eventual cannibalism. The winner will be forced to design and build a late Victorian-style gazebo, and then be nailed to it and set ablaze in a public display of good taste.
Coming soon to Pay-Per-View. Set your Tivo.
um, some geek has been watching too much HGTV while on crack…
I have $50 on Martha
You have got to get out of the freaking house during the day. Or at least turn of the damned television.
Martha will kneecap that silly fool.
Go Lynette!
Grace, beauty, style, attitude, and deportment will win every time.
I miss your show more than you’ll
ever know. Please come back.
Anne
i think lynette will win
Although Martha will probably will, I would enjoy Lynette’s performance more.
Sorry, Bowhead, but Lynette would win. I’ve seen her ruthless, backstabbing type before. She’d have Martha skewered with a shard of stained glass, a leg from a cast-iron bar stool, or a late Georgian curtain rod before Martha could even FIND her creme brulee torch.
Sorry, Bowhead, but Lynette would win. I’ve seen her ruthless, backstabbing type before. She’d have Martha skewered with a shard of stained glass, a leg from a cast-iron bar stool, or a late Georgian curtain rod before Martha could even FIND her creme brulee torch.
WHEN in the world are you coming back?????. daytime tv is just not the same without your show.
who is martha….
she hasn’t as much talent in her body as lynette has in her small toenail…martha has crew after crew doing her work and it is very evident that lynette knows from whence she comes.
martha tells about table stting, and desserts fit for kings and queens… lynette on the other hand talks to the little people also. martha’s people hire their decorators,,,,, lynettes are do it yourselfers….go lynette… or rather come back soon lynette
Lynette, Where are you? You are more creative and talented than Martha. We need you back…
Lynnete, you are the most talented designer in North America and I miss not seeing you in my living room daily. I’ve had to settle for Candice Olsen who comes in at a distant second, Love you,and all your enlightenment. You are sorely missed but always in the forfront of my doingsfor I learned from all your knowledge and style you passed my way. Your appreciative student,Ian
Lynette all the way, of course!
For style, fun and true DYI (do it yourself), without an army of flunkies.
Come back Lynette!
I also miss Lenette Jennings on TV. I learned a lot and totally enjoyd the process. Please come back!