I have TV! I love TV! I hate TV!
Oh, sweet Television, how I have missed you so. Day’s, weeks and yes, even months have passed since the last time I was able to bask in the glow of your illuminating presence. I know you felt neglected, covered by that thin plastic condom and shoved in a corner for lo, these last two months, un-watched and unloved. You waited patiently for me to return to you, knowing full well that I would weaken and find some lame excuse to put down my books, step away from my computer and come back to you.
You irresistible, horrible, wonderful Television, you.
14 hours I spent in front of you yesterday, 14 hours of blissful ignorance and brain-sapping stupidity as you made my eyes glaze over and my brain stop functioning. 14 hours of watching horrible movies that I would normally go to great lengths to avoid, movies like Spy Kids 3, Bad Boys 2 and the ultimate death-knell for all rational thought; Underworld.
Thank the heavens that Battlefield Earth wasn’t on or I might have died.
Normally, movies like those would cause me to gouge out my own eyes with chopsticks and cauterize the wounds with mixture of sea salt & battery acid, but I was weak from lack of exposure and for 14 hours you held me captive, unable to look away from your mesmerizing light. You have stolen 14 hours of my life and not only am I so enthralled by you that I don’t mind the loss, but I cannot wait to return to your embrace tonight and give you more.
Oh beautiful Television, I love to hate you ever so much!
