Letter From The Management

Dear minions,

The Mighty Geek dot com is now in its third year as an experienced, but still visionary, provider and distributor of comedic essays being freely published on this little thing we like to call The Net. As the world’s most prominent, and let’s face it beloved, provider of sophomoric humor, family craziness, schizophrenic mental meanderings, inane inner dialogs, personal tragedies of a comedic nature and other various humorous, silly, crazy, zany or just plain stupid essays, we are constantly searching for ways to improve.

And we all know how hard it is to improve on perfection.

Reflecting back on the day when The Mighty Geek was founded in May of 2001, it was a day of great excitement and anticipation on the part of the world. Nay, the entire universe. Somehow, news of our launch had spread far and wide throughout the universe and so, on the day we posted the now immortal words of our first post, the universe shuddered in an immense collective orgasmic release of tension.

The janitors of the universe clocked many overtime hours cleaning up the resulting mess.

The celebrations following our launch are legendary indeed. “Finally,” the highly evolved ant-like Th’kichik of Planet 736H thought as they waved their antennae in awe during their year-long ecstasy-induced planet-wide rave, “the GeekMan has arrived!” Unfortunately, the very next day while they were busy erecting yet another shrine in honor of their god The GeekMan, the Th’kichik were annihilated by their ancient enemies, the ant-eater-like Fgahn-Kmyth’s.

Pity.

Our launch was the beginning of a new journey for us, a journey of stupidity and idiocy heretofore unseen by mortal man. We here at The Mighty Geek were driven by our dream to succeed where other, less worthy, humorists had failed. Everyone, from the directors to members of our staff, was overwhelmed with commitment towards one common goal.

World domination through self delusion.

Today we know that our dream is close to realization. The Mighty Geek has come of age, from our humble beginnings as an Assistant Deity to Loki in the halls of Olympus, to the nearly omnipotent lord and master of humor that we are today. We owe it all to ourselves; because we know for damn sure that we’re better than you, our worshippers and minions, who are only here to read our gospel, fetch us things, iron out the wrinkles in our raisins and show us love no matter how badly we mistreat you.

For example; by making you read this stupid post.

So remember; we here at The Mighty Geek are your humor gods, so worship us daily by laughing at what we say no matter whether you think it’s funny or not. Obviously, if you fail to find the humor in our words it’s not because we’re not funny, because we always are, so it must therefore be due to your lack of intelligence.

So laugh plebian minion, or you shall be whipped!