Learning Is FundaMENTAL

Continuing education courses I’d love to take.

Death Shadow Kick
Students will learn the secret techniques of Death Shadow Kicking as taught by Master Shuh Hua “Pookie-Bear” Lin. Involves strenuous physical and mental exercise (students should be in peak physical shape), intense concentration and a willingness to instantly kill your opponent with one kick. Students must have credit in Master Shuh’s King Kong Palm and Stealthy Finger Of Death classes or similar experience.

Intro to Modern Slang
In this introductory class, students will learn the proper usage of a large vocabulary of modern slang used by the kids of today on the streets and in the Hood. The classes Running For Your Life In The Ghetto and Introduction To Avoiding An Ass Whooping are prerequisites for this course. It is also recommended that prospective students take a few First Aid or nursing classes.

Advanced Tax Avoidance 101
Students will be taught the most effective methods of avoiding the tax man in America. From declaring yourself a priest of your own religion to setting up a non-existent dummy corporation to simply moving all your assets overseas, this class will teach you the fundamentals of not only keeping more of your money, but doing it in a perfectly legal and untraceable way. Taught by Professor Jeffrey “What A Country” Skilling, students should be willing to travel incognito to foreign shores for ‘special’ on-site lessons.

Advanced Manly Gadget Purchasing Techniques
Students will learn how to research, compare and purchase the newest and best gadgets on the market today… and tomorrow. From surfing the gadget websites to in-store, pimply-faced, stock boy questioning techniques, to getting approval for the purchase from your significant other, this course will cover it all. Mandatory prerequisites include: Making Friends With Annoying Nerds & Geeks For Fun And Profit, Advanced Bargaining, and How To Bribe Your Wife With Guilt Without Getting Caught.

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