What’s it all for?!
When I shower I use some shampoo and a bar of soap. Sometimes, if I feel like pampering myself, I’ll use conditioner and sing show tunes. Now, I know that math isn’t my greatest academic strength (which, for the record, just so happens to be “How To Crack Your Best Friends’ Crack – Making The Perfect Rat-Tail Towel-Whip 101”) but when adding up all the products I use when I bathe, I consistently get the number 3.
Yet, there seem to be far more than three items in my shower.
A quick scan of my shower reveals to me three bars of soap, two large bottles of shampoo, no less than five travel-size bottles of shampoo from various upscale hotels, three travel-size bottles of conditioner, two bottles of lotion, a razor, a loofah and a partridge in a pear tree.
It’s a wonder I can fit in there with all that junk!
Now, on a subconscious level I guess I knew about the invasion, but I didn’t notice how cluttered my shower had become until this morning when, as I stepped over the rim of the bathtub (careful not to knock over the little shampoo bottles, of course) I discovered two new sponges and a hair scrunchy laying on the bathtub floor. Not knowing what to do about these items I promptly went back into the bedroom, woke HoBiscuit up and demanded an explanation.
She was not happy.
So, after being beaten to within an inch of my life by my not-so-lovely-when-she’s-sleep-deprived wife, she explained to me using small words in the soothing tones usually reserved for mentally challenged children, that I needed to grow up because while men (and men was said in the same tone she might have used to describe a particularly disgusting form of butt fungus) might be able to get away with cleaning themselves with whatever was handy, (spit, gravel, planks of wood with a fish carcass nailed to it) women needed to be pampered or they would simply rot where they stood and melt away into a puddle of grease, grime, dirt and dead skin cells.
Sugar and spice?! Hardly!
So now, as I lay here in my hospital bed recovering from HoBscuit’s love taps, I can only wonder;
What do you have in your shower, and why?
hrm.. i have:
3 bottles of shampoo
1 bottle of conditioner
1 bottle of soap
1 bottle of shower lotion
1 razor
1 poofy thing
1 bottle of apricot exfoliant
yeah, can you tell i’m a girl?
2 bottles of shampoo
2 bottles of conditioner
5 types of shower gel
2 loofahs
1 puffy
1 face scrubber
a face cloth
1 razor
4 different things for my face
toothpaste
toothbrush
3 toys AND
a bamboo plant
Considering I have an inch of hair and the shower itself is 3 feet by 4 feet (cause I live in a fifth wheel) – well, I’d say I need some serious therapy.
Thanks for making me do that. Jerk.
Mostly-used big tube of shower gel (Blueberry).
One bottle of orgasmic conditioner (Herbal Essences).
One bottle of orgasmic shampoo (Herbal Essences).
One bottle of dandruff scrub for The Man.
Two tooth brushes.
One almost-empty tube of Colgate Sensitive.
Mouldy sponge.
Big nasty clump of hair (mostly mine – curse long hair).
Bar of soap in the dish thingamy.
3 shampoos
2 body washes
1 bar soap
2 razors
1 foot loofah
1 foot scrub
1 body sponge
1 bottle deep conditioner
1 toothbrush (for cleaning grout while in shower, waiting for deep conditioner to work)
1 bottle tilex (see above)
1 pair flip flops (for wearing while using tilex, it ruins the pedicure)
2 paintbrushes (for toddler)
3 shades shower paint (see above)
1 cup for rinsing shower walls or toddler
consider yourself lucky
I feel like a bathroom failure, after reading these lists, but here’s mine:
I reg. size bottle shampoo, Paul Mitchell Tea Tree
1 travel size bottle shampoo, contents undeclared.
1 reg. size bottle conditioner, Mitchell Tea Tree
1 can shaving gel, something minty
I razor
1 Sponge Bob Squarepants sponge
1 teeny weeny bar of glycerin soap
1 bottle Keihl’s Tea Tree body wash.
Sense a theme?
2 full sized shampoos
1 full sized conditioner
Many hotel sized shampoo/conditioners
Apricot facial scrub
Neutrogena Deep Cream Clean Cleanser
Razor
Dove Moisturizing Body wash
Face Cloth
But this is just what I brought with me to the hotel I’m staying at while work is being done on my house. I miss my loofah!
OK. OK.
I bottle shampoo
3 bottles conditioner
4 shower gels
1 bar soap
2 toothbrushes
1 toothpaste
3 face scrub/soap
2 bottles shower lotion
2 body scrubs
mouthwash
3 razors
2 bath poof-thingys
baby oil
How do *we* fit?
One bottle of shampoo
One bottle of conditioner
Dove soap
And that’s it. I don’t pay attention to my roommate’s stuff, because he doesn’t have much, and therefore it doesn’t get in my way. I hate it when there’s too much stuff, it’s impossible to clean, takes way too long.
I have a collection of human heads in various states of decomposition.. wait.. no.. That was Young Frankenstien.. Drat!
clean?
hey what’s up? let’s chat
1 Head and Shoulders Shampoo/Conditioner
1 Bar of soap
1 Razor
1 Apricot Facial Scrub
** I found your site from looking up “cough up stinky chunk” **