Interview #03

It’s time for another installment of Blogger Insider. This time my partner is Jessy from It’s Me Jessy. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find a link to her archives on her site, so you might not be able to read my questions for her and her answers.*

1. Pretend there is no such thing as the Internet. What would you be doing with your life?

   What?!? Oh, I see, that’s a joke right? A joke! Ha! I get it. No internet, that’s funny. Woo, you had me scared for a minute there. You’re a funny person. Now, how about that first question? And let’s not even joke about this ‘no internet’ thing again, ok? Good.

2. Do you prefer Boxers of Briefs?

   I prefer briefs because my boys need a home and they enjoy being held in a snug pouch. Boxers lead to flipping and flopping and, worst of all, dripping.

3. I nearly had a heart attack reading “Credo of the Web Log Writer” Do you, in your honest opinion, think people lose a part of themselves when they have logs solely on the basis of becoming popular?

   That really depends on why you created your Web Log, doesn’t it? I mean, if your goal was to become famous, then you lose nothing by garnering fame and popularity through your Web Log. If however, your purpose was to have a creative outlet for yourself, then it shouldn’t matter whether you’re ‘famous’ or ‘popular’. It all depends on the individual.

4. And, as a writer does it bother you to see so many cookie cutter sites out there that don’t offer anything of substance. Just a list cute little list of “things I ate today”?

   Doesn’t bother me at all. I just click away to the next site and promise myself to never return to a place of such vapid, self-indulgent emptiness. Unless, of course, the person is a cannibal. That would be cool.

5. What did you eat today?

   Eat? Eat?!? Who do you think I am, Daddy Warbucks? I don’t have enough money to eat. I’m lucky I know enough about electrical engineering to steal the electricity necessary to turn this computer on. If my neighbors ever figure out why their ConEd bill is over $1,700 a month, I’m a dead man. Eat, pshaw. I lick the rubber soles of my 7 year old Reeboks and count myself lucky.

6. If your house caught on fire, and you could only grab one thing before getting out of there, what would it be?

   By ‘one thing’ I hope you mean one system, because there’s no damn way I’m leaving any part of my home theater system to burn up in a fire and that includes the shelving units and the rear speaker stands. The VEHTS and I are inseparable, like two sides of a coin or a reversible raincoat. You’d have to shoot me in the head twice to stop me from going back through the flames and retrieving my babies. ‘One thing’. Like that’s a fair question. What’s wrong with you?

7. What’s one thing you honestly fear in life?

   Being a nobody.

8. Laughter has an amazing power when it comes to healing. After reading your entry and seeing your pics of the Sept 11 tragedy did you feel you owed it to your readers to go back to your regularly scheduled programing?

   Nope, not at all. Although I write these entries for myself, I also write them in the hopes of entertaining others that might read them, but without any feeling of obligation to do so. In other words, I hope other people find me entertaining, but I don’t mind when they think I’m just a silly Geek with no talent. Heck, that’s what my mother tells me all the time.

9. What does the world taste like to you?

   Morning breath with the occasional aftertaste of hot chocolate. Complete with tiny, little marshmallows.

10. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? If so what?

    I’ve been convicted of a crime, alright. The crime of stealing your heart! Yeah baby, YEAH!

11. What is your most treasured possession?

    Physically, The VEHTS. Emotionally, HoBiscuit’s heart.

12. Did the word pinger ever catch on?

    Unfortunately, no. And the bastards at Websters have stopped taking my calls. Damn them.

13. Who do you most admire?

    That handsome devil I see in the mirror every morning. So smart and suave, he’s got it all. Sexy bastard, come give daddy a kiss.

14. What big plans do you have for the up and coming new year?

    Make money. Go to Scotland. Make more money. Thank the powers that be for the hypnotism and drugs that keep HoBiscuit by my side year after year. Make even more money.

15. Ever done anything mean to a friend? If so what?

    Yes. Everything you can ever possibly imagine. I’m just really lucky that these saps think I’m funny and keep coming back for more. Chumps.

*Update: Here’s the link to my questions on Jessy’s web site with her answers. You’ll need to scroll down the page to the Sunday, December 30 entry. Enjoy.