I’m Going And You’re Not (Part II)

Oh boy, am I a hot, moist and sticky mess.

It must be a billion degrees outside with a humidity of 2000%. It was so hot in the city that the completely involuntary act of my body growing hair caused me to break out in a sweat. If it weren’t for the massive level of Geekiness in my DNA that necessitated my attendance at PC Expo, I would have simply stayed in bed in my air-conditioned apartment like god intended.

And was it worth the effort? In four words, “Abso-friggen-lutely NOT.”

To say this years PC Expo was a disappointment would be shockingly insufficient. I was so dismayed at the complete lack of excitement and innovation at the show that my Inner Geek vomited all over my Inner Child. Needless to say, my Inner Child spent the next half hour locked up in my id crying for my Inner Mother.

I finally got him to come out by promising to buy a new game for Miss Ex-Boxx.

PC Expo was a pale shadow of its former glory. Gone were the huge, multi-booth displays with amazing Technicolor videos and surround-sound infused presentations. No more human sized dancing logos or spectacular pyrotechnics greeted me at the entrance of every display. Say sayonara to my dreams of winning a new car, sailboat or even a cheap computer. There weren’t even any boobies present to entice me into listening to the horrible presentations being given by badly prompted and under-rehearsed second-rate actors.

What? They expected me to listen without boobies? Puh-lease!

While there was some free stuff to be found, I got an egg of silly putty and a blue sticky-dart, it wasn’t nearly as much as last year and rarely worth fighting through the crowds for. I walked the entirety of PC Expo, Internet Expo and DV Expo in the course of four hours and I didn’t miss a single booth. I even got to sit through three presentations and schmooze with a few people about Geeky computer stuff before I got so fed up with the complete lameness of the show that I had to leave.

And then I rode the train home during rush hour. Dammit.

So, now I’m going to relax by meeting up with HoBiscuit for a quick dinner, going to her old place in the city to carry many large and heavy boxes down four flights of stairs into my car, drive back to my place and carry those same large and heavy boxes into my increasingly warehouse-like apartment and then try my best not to do something that will get me yelled at or smacked because I really, really, REALLY don’t want to ruin my chances of getting some sweet loving tonight. And lord, if that means letting her watch ‘Sex and the City’ while eating coffee cake on the couch as I rub her feet, so be it.

I am not a proud man. Pity me.