According to my site stats, I had 1,746 visitors (or 48,070 page hits) during the month of August. They can’t all be me either, because I haven’t perfected my PERL Automatic Page Reloading Instant Karmic A-lister script (PAPRIKA for short). Although I don’t think I’ll ever have a huge readership like some other Blog/journals out there, it’s my secret desire to somehow garner a small select group of loyal fans that enjoy my sucking-of-the-teeth-while-rolling-your-eyes bad attempts at humor enough to keep coming back. Since August was only the third month that TMG existed (and the first month of actual content) having so many visitors really blows my mind. To all of you who not only had the courage to read this site but the fortitude to return for more, I humbly thank you. To my mother, stop hitting F5.
Below is an excerpt from a mock interview for a “Behind the Site” type entry I was going to put up to amuse myself with just in case I had no visitors at all. At 1:30am this part still seemed really funny to me so I figured I’d post it anyway and maybe you’d like it too. Enjoy.
BTS
“So, tell me more about your web site, The Mighty Geek.”
GM
“Well, Dave…”
BTS
“My name is Richard.”
GM
“I knew that. Well Rob…”
BTS
“Richard.”
GM
“You’re interrupting me.”
BTS
“Sorry.”
GM
“May I finish, Richard?”
BTS
*sigh* “Please.”
GM
“Where was I? Oh yes. Well Rick, I love myself. Really, I just can’t seem to get enough of me and I think everyone else needs to understand how awe-inspiringly perfect I am and how unimportant and worthless they are. Especially when you consider that they are not me. That’s why I have my web site. I really do all of this just for me so I can go back and re-read all the witty, intelligent, funny and interesting things I have to say about myself, but I feel my site can also help educate my public about all things me. It’s like, people sometimes ask me what I want on my tombstone when I die and I always reply, “Nothing, because once I’m gone all of you will realize just how worthless you are, and the universe will cease to exist out of self pity.”
BTS
“You really think you’re that special?”
GM
“Of course! I’ve been known to stand in front of the mirror in restaurant bathrooms for an hour or more at a time just looking at the perfection that is me. Sometimes I even talk to my reflection, telling myself how special, smart and good-looking I am. I know people are jealous so if anyone knocks on the door I make poo-poo noises until they go away. I feel that if only more people knew how perfect I was they would realize they should try to be more like me. My site is just my way of reaching out to all you little people who so desperately need my help. I know it takes time out of my busy schedule of watching home movies of myself to write my entries about me on my site, but I feel I have to. Everyone out there is so obviously in need of role models like me that I think it’s the least I can do to try and help them in some small way by showing them how much better than them I am. I mean, I certainly don’t need them so they must need me. Right?”
