Grand Pop

My grandpa is recovering.

We know this because he is causing more and more trouble at the hospital every day. And, just to show you how absolutely insane my whole family is, let me relate to you the exchange that took place between my grandpa and his night nurse, a pretty woman with spiky hair, the first time he met her.

Grandpa: “Wow! You must have been really hungry.”
Nurse: “What do you mean?”
Grandpa: “Well, I’ve been hungry before but I’ve never been tempted to try to eat a firecracker.”
Nurse: “Are you making fun of my hair?”
Grandpa: “Smart girl. So, when can I get something good to eat?”
Nurse: “With that attitude, maybe never.”
Grandpa: “I don’t like you anymore. Can I leave?”
Nurse: “No. You have to stay a few more days.”
Grandpa: “But I want to go home.”
Nurse: “I’m sorry.”
Grandpa: “You’re a liar.”
Nurse: “Yes, I am.”
Grandpa: “Go suck another lightswitch.”

We couldn’t stop laughing for hours.