Some people are so fricking gullible nice!
This installment of The Mighty Geek’s WNPWBSFOPTDKG Award goes to a kind and generous student who, instead of buying instant Ramen noodles so he would have something to eat this week, decided to buy HoBiscuit and me this book off of our wedding registry. This is such a stupid sweet thing to do for a strange stranger like myself, that I thought I’d make fun of him today and hopefully send some linky-love his way.
You know what they say, no such thing as bad press, right?
Firstly, the gift-givers name is Jeremy and he’s a sucker kind and generous soul with the face of an angel and the body of Adonis. So all you sexy ladies should be emailing him your boobie shots right now so as to get a jump on all the models and movie stars who are sure to flood his in-basket the moment they realize he’s the answer to their wildest fantasies. And, according to the women’s bathroom stall in the campus library, he’s “hung like a racehorse!” Three separate women seem to have written that they agree, with only one dissenting voice who scribbled, “More like My Little Pony! But still, I wish he returned my calls.”
He also likes sunsets and long walks on the beach.
According to the personal ad cleverly disguised as an email that Jeremy sent me, he’s a young student of graphic design living somewhere in Canada. Now before I continue, let me take a moment to offer this piece of sage advice to the hopeful young designer;
Switch Majors! What the frick are you thinking?! Graphic designers are fricking insane! Don’t you know this yet? Look at my site, you idiot! I talk to pastry and video game consoles! I’m certifiable! Be smart and become an accountant, or a coal miner. Something, anything, but a graphic designer. Trust me; you’re much better off as a one legged high school janitor than as a graphic designer.
You all know he’ll thank me for that later.
Anywaste, not that I care, but Jeremy also claims to have spent three years studying under Master Sven Vergenstud earning a PhD in Orgasm Inducing Sensual Swedish Massages for Women. His specialty is something involving scented oils and a small egg-shaped object that vibrates, but he won’t say anything more claiming that to tell me would guarantee that I met with a horribly drawn out and torturous death involving glass rods, sea salt and my anal cavity.
Shudder.
So to sum up, do the lad a favor and shower him with kisses for his stupidity thoughtful and selfless act of charity. He has not one, but two web sites not because he’s a big show off, but because he’s just all that and a side of curly fries to boot. So check him out at GeekStrike and Czernobog’s Journal and let him know that GeekMan sent you. And ladies, I’m not kidding about that horse thing. It’s like a baby’s arm holding an apple.
I swear.
you made Jeremy’s Day, im not joking. and the publicity about his well, certain quality’s can’t hurt. Now he’s going to never stop talking about you.
I can vouch for said PhD, for you see, I too studied with the same Swedish master. From what I saw, Jeremy is about as Swedish as they come! Well… for a Jew anyway.
He’s the bees knees. But so am I.
I don’t know how I’m going to live down such “high praise”.
It’s all true however, especially the OISSMfW. Sven Vergenstud was a grand master at what he did, the O’sensei of OISSMfW.
Swedens a beautiful place too, and has plenty of beautiful women to massage.
And here I thought I’d dated EVERY Jeremy in the Northern Hemisphere. No, really, I went through an 8 year phase where I only dated J’s. Can’t believe I missed out on the arm&apple.
*sigh*