Fish Story #1

The year is 1984.

Fishman:
“Please… Please, let me back inside. I’m cured. I swear. Please? I promise, I won’t tell mom.”

GeekMan:
“I don’t know. You don’t seem cured yet. Our remedy for your ailment might not have worked fully.”

Fishman:
“It worked. I swear, it worked.”

GeekMan:
“I’m still not convinced. What do you think, Mr. Hentai?”

Mr. Hentai:
“Nah, he still looks a little green around the gills. Maybe if we pushed a little farther..?”

GeekMan:
“Sounds like a plan.”

Fishman:
[incoherent screaming]

GeekMan:
“I’m sorry; we couldn’t make out words in that screech of terror. What did you say?”

Fishman:
*sobbing*

Mr. Hentai:
“Oh. Look. He’s crying. That’s not a good sign.”

GeekMan:
“I concur, Mr. Hentai. It’s not a good sign at all. You see Fishman, a good sign would have been if you didn’t cry. That would have meant our methods of curing you had worked and then we could’ve ended the treatment, but since you’re crying I feel that we need to continue…”

Fishman:
“Oh, god no! Please no more! I swear I’ll never bother you guys again! I swear it! I swear!”

Mr. Hentai:
“Fishman, bothering us when we’re playing Dungeons & Dragons isn’t the problem. Painting all our dice black so we can’t read the numbers isn’t the problem. Barging into the room when we’re playing ‘live action’ D&D with the two cute girls from down the block and then threatening to tell your mother what we were doing isn’t even the problem.”

GeekMan:
“That’s right, Fishman. The real problem is your mental block and we, being aspiring psychologists and psychiatrists, are merely trying to help you overcome your fears. Trust us, one day you’ll thank us for doing this.”

Fishman:
“You guys are crazy! Crazy! I’m telling mom about this and she’ll fix you good!”

Mr. Hentai:
“You will?”

Fishman:
“Yes! And she’s going to kill you both so I won’t ever have to thank you for this! You hear me?! I’ll never thank you. Never!”

GeekMan:
“Oh, I think you will. Mr. Hentai, let’s put him back outside for a few more minutes.”

Fishman:
“AAAGH! NOOOoooooo!!! I’m going to kill you both! AAaahhh!”

Mr. Hentai:
“Sigh. He certainly doesn’t sound cured of his fear of heights, does he GeekMan?”

GeekMan:
“He sure doesn’t, Mr. Hentai. It would appear that our remedy of hanging him face down out of a window by his ankles six floors from the ground just isn’t doing the trick. Maybe we should try a higher floor?”

Mr. Hentai:
“How about the roof?”

GeekMan:
“Mr. Hentai, I like your thinking.”

Fishman:
“Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick…”

To this day Fishman is still afraid of heights. And open windows.