CSI = Can’t See It

It was like a kick in the nads.

It was almost as if we were in the room with Grissom and Brass as they finally confronted the woman who was once a man and whom they thought was responsible for the deaths of several men who wished to be women. They were ‘grilling’ her, trying to get her to admit what she had done, but she was playing the self-righteous helper of the helpless card to the hilt and HoBiscuit and I were on the edge of our seats waiting for her to fall. Then, just as Brass was about to oh-so-nonchalantly lean on the table and dispense justice in the form of a witty remark that would make the evildoer break down and cry…

The TV goes dark.

WHAT?! Our cries of despair were loud enough to cause the lights in the ceiling to rattle. I immediately attempted to switch channels, for my feeble man-mind somehow believed that merely flipping to a different channel would fix whatever ailed the little demons inside the TV that were in charge of reception for CBS. But, what’s this?! There’s nothing on NBC either? Frantic now, I start flipping channels like I was a 10 year veteran chef at IHOP;

2 CBS – Darkness
3 TNT – Picture!
4 NBC – A chasm of dark doom
5 Fox – Black as my heart
6 Nick – Spongebob in all his glory
7 ABC – A black hole sucking the life from my body
8 TBS – Tha’hr be reception, Matey
9 UPN – The antithesis of content
10 CNN – News galore!
11 WB – There may have been something there, but really, who cares?

I was in shock. All of our local channels were gone. Poof, just like that. The only thing that made sense to me was that Osama bin Laden and his Al-Qaeda cronies had managed to take over the broadcast satellite and, by reversing the polarity of the onboard flux capacitor’s, had set into action their plan of world domination through television disruption in the household of The Mighty Geek. Now I’m in tears, as I desperately search the internet in the vain hope of finding out what happened in the final 10 minutes of CSI. All while Osama sits in his cave, safe and sound and laughing maniacally at my helplessness as the giant, unseen wheels of his evil plan to take over the world begin turning.

…

Dammit, what the FRICK happened on CSI?!