Are you pining away for attention of the mocking kind from the other kids in your class?
Do you feel left out when the lowly nerds get beat up by the neighborhood bully at school and you don’t?
Late at night, when no one’s around, do you lie awake wishing that there was some way for you to be even more of an outcast from society than you are now?
Well, fear not my fellow Geeks because The Mighty Shop is here to help! You say you wish you had a burn-your-retina-to-a-crisp, bright, neon yellow bag to help you get the gasps of sympathy/disgust/fear you’ve been pining away for? Not only do we have one available, but it even sports the hideous visage of the king-lord of Geeks himself, GeekMan! We guarantee that should this bag fail to garner the ridicule, derision and insults that you think you deserve for carrying it around, just write us and we’ll insult you ourselves!
But wait, there’s more!
In order to entice you to purchase our cheap and crappy products, we’ve lowered prices on some select items. Need a wife-beater t-shirt? We’ve got them on sale! Wish you had a hat just like Gilligan? Now you can wear one that’s even uglier! Is your physique less than ideal for sports, yet you still want to be part of the team? Join Team Geek by wearing one of our stylish, will-the-football-team-please-kick-my-butt jersey’s! Even our hideous I-don’t-know-how-to-play-poker visors are on sale!
With prices like these, we’re practically giving it all away!
We’ve got backpacks, briefcases, cups, mugs, coasters, mouse pads and even Frisbees! And if you act now, shipping is only $5! And if you’re rich (please lord, let them be rich) and you purchase over $50 worth of our crap, then shipping is free! That’s right, free shipping! So bring your penny-pinching, cheap and miserly butt down to our store now and buy ten of everything!
The Mighty Shop. We’re INSAAAAAANE!!!
When I saw your photo on Philo’s blog, I was drooling over the uber-cool bag (that was, unfortunately, hiding your face!) I’m glad to know now where to get one of my very own, showing the world my love for the Mighty Geek!
I share Christine’s enthusiasm for the bag, however I remain concerned that if I carry one I will be approached by people who think that I am The Mighty Geek.
I’d panic, probably try to pretend that I was, and then they’d mention something about Bread or my fiance, and I’d just really be in a JAM. Probably a rasberry one.
Don’t you hate pants… I find them itchy irritable and constraining to say the least. Anywho i love boobs and nerds and is such i would like to pledge my full blown allegiance to this non-Sadistic cult as long as kool aid related functions are non-permissable. That is all. End Transmission…
~Ghost Writer Out