I’ve got animal crackers in my underwear.
They’re the vanilla animal crackers you get in a big teddy-bear tub from Costco or BJs. There’s an elephant, a lion, a llama, a seal on a ball and a monkey. The monkey is my favorite. He’s the only one not leaving crumbs in my crotch. I think I’ll call him Howard. Howard the Circus Monkey, because he’s in the animal cracker circus. And to show him how much I like him I’m going to eat Howard last.
Hey, anyone out there want a nice, warm animal cracker?
Ya know there aren’t a lot of people about which I could simply say, “He’s talking about llama crumbs in his crotch,” and have most everyone know to whom I was referring.
hahahaha.
ew.
Wait… they’re in your pants, and there’s a seal on a ball?
Excuse me I need to go take oven cleaner to my eyes to cure myself.
I’ll take one, as long as you scour, boil, scrape, lysol-spray, and peticure my tongue first.